Girls, beware of the people you have a drink with

“The light went out and Liam started touching me. I whispered, no, said it wasn’t right with his two friends there, but he wasn’t even listening. He had sex with me; I won’t say this was rape, though it was statutory rape because of my age…I thought that if I just let him do it, it would be over …. But then the light was on and Phil said, “Can we join in?” And Liam said, “Be my guest.” None of them asked me. I won’t torture the reader or myself with the details of what they did to me.” Emilia di Girolamo, a writer and award-winning playwright is quoted. The story of Emilia, who was drunk and then gang raped at the age of 14, was published in The Guardian newspaper in 2003. The incident happened in 1985. In the story, Emilia was seeing a local musician, Liam, whom she was deeply attracted to. One night he told her to lie to her parents so that they could spend a night out together. The plan worked, and after a couple of shots of vodka, they proceeded to sleep at Liam’s; but he was in the company of two friends. Emilia innocently trusted him, but to her horror later realized that the plan was to share the room. Worse still, there was no way of turning back. So many young girls have been lured into drinking, especially with strangers or people they know little about yet call them friends, and are raped, sometimes by people they trust. Emilia had not taken that much vodka to make her lose self-control completely, but some may partly blame her for being too obsessed to the point of accepting an overnight invitation to a man’s place at the tender age of 14. However, some other teenagers drink for the fun of it, without any romantic feelings for anybody and before they know it, they have heartbreaking stories to tell. Fiona (not real name), from my church once gave such a testimony. It happened in high school, at the end of year party. She was anxious to taste alcohol for the first time. A boy, also from the same school, later joined her and her friend. She uncontrollably drank herself silly, trying to impress and not look new at the game. What she cannot remember however, is how a boy she did not even know got to her, or where her friends disappeared. She was dragged to the rear end of the school perimeter, where she was almost brutally raped into a coma by a number of boys she cannot recall. Some of these girls suffer bad physical injuries or, are physiologically tormented with the agony of the humiliating night haunting them. The worst-case scenario is also contracting HIV/AIDS, STD’s or unplanned pregnancies. While alcohol may bring some excitement when taken, girls should take notice of how intoxicating it can be. However, it is tricky to tell whom to trust when out for a drink, because a number of police rape cases had victims citing friends and even strangely, boyfriends in a rape incident. Most times, their drinks are drugged. Maybe it’s best to order for a soda, an energy drink, or any other non-alcoholic beverage, especially on a night out with or on a visit with someone you think could have some sexual interest in you? This would be a better tool against “drugged and dragged” rape cases, which have slowly, but surely increased in number within our society. emma.munyaneza@newtimes.co.rw