“I cannot make decisions. I always have to call my sister or mother to get their advice even for a small decision. It always makes me feel so dependant,” says Tessie Munganyika Lydie, a 19-year-old student. Indecisiveness or the inability to make decision is common among teens. If you are in the same boat as Tessie, do not fret, all you need to do to fight this awful tendency is to uncover root its cause. Indecisiveness in most cases stems from inner insecurity and fear. A secure person will make choices and maintain a peace of mind that they will take responsibility for their decisions. However, an insecure person will be scared of making the wrong choices. It can also be fear of the unknown. In most cases, this comes as a defense mechanism for protecting a fragile self-esteem, which thinks that the current state is safer than an unknown future. If you want to throw this worrying habit away, this is what you should do. Whenever the need to make decisions arises, brainstorm about your possible choices. Take time to consider your options. If the decision is important, bounce it off to a friend, mentor or trusted loved one. Think about how you will feel in the future after saying yes to a given decision. If you find yourself feeling excited, energized or contented, your gut is telling you the decision is a good one. If you experience tension maybe it is not such a good idea. Also, consider whether the decision fits your values and priorities. If it does, great if it does not, ignore it. Nevertheless, healthy growth and change involve risk-taking, and some of your most important learning has probably come from mistakes you have made. The ability to make distinct decisions without looking back or second-guessing gives one a sense of direction and confidence. As your ability to make decisions increases, the ability to have a life worth living increases and your development of personal leadership rises. Today and throughout the year 2012, resolve to make great decisions. martin.bishop18@yahoo.com
