Dear Aunt Silvia, I am faced with a dilemma and I have no idea how I should deal with it. My wife’s three sisters are married to wealthy men and this year they have been taken by their spouses for festive holidays in Kenya. Now my wife is pressuring me to do the same for our family even though she knows that I cannot afford the trip because I have no money to afford such luxuries. Now my marriage is on the rocks, my wife has not talked to me for the last two weeks, calling me names behind my back; she comes home from work late and has decided to totally ignore me. I am very hurt by this, what do I do? Alex Dear Alex, I have always insisted that marriage should start on an honest note. I am sure when you were marrying your wife, she knew your wealth status, so I don’t see why she now wants you to compete with your in-laws when she knows your status. Let me assume that you never showed her what you don’t have, otherwise I see no reason as to why she does not understand the position you are in. Understanding one’s situation is a very important aspect in everyone’s life. It is very saddening if your wife does not understand where she stands when it comes to affording certain things. She should thank her lucky stars that at least she gets all the basic things in life, while others cannot afford even one meal a day. Tell her that if she is not grateful for what she has, even the little that she has can be taken away from her if she cannot give her thanks to the Lord. People have serious problems than just thinking of competing for holiday destinations. Holiday trips are luxuries that very few people can afford today-this she should know. I have never known any person who leads his/her life competing with others to be happy. There is more to life than just wishing for what you can’t afford and crying for what you don’t have. For all I know luxurious trips to Kenya or even to Rio de Janeiro can be possible if the two of you can work it out, save little by little and make it possible. This is a situation that if not contained, can grow to be something big because your wife will always see her sisters as her competitors. Please, talk to your wife and make her understand as an adult that it is impossible to take trips anywhere for obvious reasons (no money), but if she really wants to take a trip, she has to commit herself by helping you save every month, after all she is also working- until when the money is enough for the two of you to take that holiday of your dreams. kayitesius@yahoo.com
