How close do you keep your girlfriends?

One of my cousins, Carol, recently learnt the hard way that her girlfriends meant much more than she always thought. When she started dating Kim, she threw out all her friends. Previously, she regularly met up with her friends for coffee dates, sleepovers, shopping and generally spent time together catching up. However, at the time she met Kim, she thought very little of her friends—they became another distant part of her life for she saw no need for them with Kim around. Carol was so engrossed in her relationship that she shut out all other relationships. She stopped communicating and hanging out with her friends. She was always with her boyfriend. Her friends thought, her behaviour would only last for a while since she had met a new love. However, Carol’s behaviour did not change for over a year. There were times she had issues and really needed a sisterly hug from her girlfriends. They always encouraged her but she had thrown them out. She also faced moments when her boyfriend was too busy with work or hanging out with the boys and she was left alone, devastated. She was too guilty and ashamed to make amends with her friend’s because she had ditched them for Kim. The worst bit was when it was time for her to get married. No doubt, she needed her girlfriends more than ever. She had no way of involving them in her introduction and wedding preparations. She needed their support emotionally, physically, financially and in all other aspects. Her friends were also very busy with their lives. The seats at the wedding meeting were always vacant with only a few relatives and friends to Kim. It was the hardest time of her life since she had no one to comfort her when she was stressed with all the wedding preparations. Finally, she had to swallow her pride and apologise to her girlfriends for having abandoned them. She won a few back but lost many. Several times when women meet their ‘soul mates’, the rest of the world becomes non-existent. They cut off communication with friends and family—something that is totally uncouth. However, women should realise that as much as a man might fill the void in their heart, there is always the void that must be filled by friends. Love waxes and wanes, careers end, spouses change, colleagues forget favours but girlfriends will always be there to; listen, cry, laugh and celebrate with us. Women need to keep their girlfriends almost as close as family. maria.kaitesi@newtimes.com