The clout of negation

Here we go again, what on earth is Friday James communicating this time? Yeah, well it’s the supremacy of saying NO. ‘NO’ is such a hysterical word and usually regarded cynical. You find that many teenagers and some adults have become YES people. When did this happen? Is it the coolest thing these days? It depends on many factors including where you come from or how you were raised. Literally speaking, this psyched me to do a small survey on different people starting from myself. I found out that it’s really hard for me to say NO to people because I don’t want to hurt them or look bad in front of them. The same issue applied to the people in my study experiment—you find them living a life where you are trying to please everybody, look cool, or fit in a particular community. They believe negating in a situation or conversation is not good and makes people think you are weird or coded (hardcore minded). A friend of mine had an issue where she couldn’t boldly say NO where it’s due. You could find her struggling in a situation of not wanting to hurt her friends despite what she believes. Instead of technically replying with ‘maybe’ or ‘I will look into it’, she could go on with ‘yes’. This, in fact, made her look like a hypocrite! Her YES and NO seemed to be the same at some point. Well, personally I think this is a weakness. You tend to become a slave to any request. If you have noticed, you will find that most of the great leaders or successful people have this ability to say ‘no’ in various cases of need. ‘No’ is a control word, a word that has real power. When we use it, we are in control. When we don’t, we are open to the control of others. “By saying no, we guard our time, our efforts, and even our money,” one wise man once said. Do not take this in a more pessimistic angle. I usually like to give this quote from KIZITO Mihigo’s song… “Yo ntaza kuba mu mwijima, sinari kumenye ibyiza by’urumuri” which translates to, “if I hadn’t experienced obscurity, I would not know the value of luminosity. Similarly, it gives your Yes value when you know how to say NO. It is a controversial topic which brings about many theories and perspectives but truth be told, people need to learn to be realistic when it comes to response. Especially, in affirmation and negation; they must have clear-cut responses. The more you become decisive and distinctive in your responses; the more you build trustworthy, honest, and genuine personal credentials. You make your life and qualities with the decisions—YES and NO. jamiefrings@yahoo.com