Do not be a doormat

Are you busy being everybody’s somebody? Do you constantly find yourself submitting to the requests and demands of everyone around you no matter how absurd? Are you all too willing to let your own needs fall by the wayside? If this sounds like you, you may be what are commonly known as the doormat. I’m sure it’s nice to be the person everybody can count on but it gets to a point when people start taking advantage. When somebody asks you to do something on a regular the question is ‘why you?’ If the answer to that question comes out like ‘because you always do it’ or ‘because you are here’ then you are well on your way to being used. Politeness is vital but it should have its limits really. Why should you be subjected to that kind of treatment simply because you can’t say no or because you are afraid to let someone down? If you do not learn to say no you could end up saying yes to more than you can actually handle. Be selective and learn polite firm ways of saying no. I must emphasize on the firm part because we don’t want whoever it is making you his/her own assistant thinking you are joking. Simply sit down and try to remember the last time you made a decision and actually stuck to it. If there is no recollection of that then it’s time to decide to not let other people’s decisions run your life. It shouldn’t matter whether it is at home, at the office, in your local bar or even the grocery store. Some colleagues think other people do not have anything do or that they just went to act as a mannequin at work and decide to throw their own assignments on them. If it is not your area of expertise then tell them so and get back to what you do best. If you are not the tea boy or girl then why should someone sitting on the same desk with you ask that you fetch them some? Tell them that your CV does not have serving tea to colleagues as experience otherwise if it did then that is the job you’d probably have asked for instead. It’s called standing up for yourself. So sure you fetched a cup once or twice but that doesn’t mean you are a qualified tea server now. Start pampering yourself and doing things you’d rather have done all those time you were out making somebody else happy instead. Make it clear to others where you talents and interests lie. Never ever let another human being make you feel like you don’t belong or that you are beneath them, I don’t care what it is they do. Give respect where it is due. It’s only fair. I can’t stand people who don’t have an ounce of respect or courtesy for anyone but chose to demand it be given to them as though it were their birth right. That is taking advantage of people. If I could have it my way, I would gladly do the talking for anyone who feels underappreciated or constantly intimidated by another. Respect is earned not bought from a shelf in a supermarket. You give some, you get some. It’s not cool to turn someone else into your doormat. Just because some people do not have the nerve to speak up doesn’t mean they are stupid. We have to treat other people the way we would want them to treat us. That goes for the maids too. Just because she works for you doesn’t mean you get to bully her around going as far as imposing the rod. The doormat should be phased out! rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk