“A Visit to the muganga”

Sometimes, there are things that are better left unsaid than said. A few days ago, as we were heading to Mutara for a wedding function, I could not help noticing a fleet of vehicles parked outside some awkward looking houses just a hundred or so metres away from the Nyagasambo trading centre! Awkward in the sense that, the occupants or owners of about 5 “Jeeps” could have chosen to visit an otherwise low status looking neighbourhood in such numbers left a lot to be desired! As the Nigerians would say, “Oga, a Bat does not move in broad day light unless something is amiss, oga!” Of course, I did not know what went on in that part of the country until one elderly man we were travelling with told me that, the place belonged to one of the most potent (not omnipotent) “mugangas” (witch “doctors”) in the land! Days later, as I was watching a Nigerian movie on TV, something about the same subject came up and it reminded me of the incident. Not that I love watching those movies but just because the chain keeper was watching it and I could not change the channel without the possibility of “rocking the boat”; in the interest of peace, I settled down for the Nigerian movie! As the people in the movie engaged in the practice, I began pondering on the whole subject. What really makes people to indulge in the practice of witchcraft? There are those to whom it is a way of life and others, it is a means of living and achieving their ambitions and goals and yet to others, it is out of despair! Way back in the early nineties, when I had just left college and was looking for work, it was fashionable for someone to seek the services of a “umuhanuzi” (seer), to read “you” your fate or chances and misfortunes so that you could do something about it. There was this friend of mine who worked as a Mzungu’s shamba boy. He was prospering in the sense of the word. As a domestic servant, he had managed to build himself a brick house and bought some chunk of land back in Mfashumwana (now Kyererezi) village, he owned a Phoenix Bicycle and was regarded as a rich man in the sense of the word. The difference was that, as I “wasted” time going to school, he had headed straight to Kampala and got himself a job and here he was, miles ahead of me! Ariko, kalamu ntibesha (but the pen never tells lies)! Anyway, the pen never rots! Wondering as to the source of this young man’s Success; as if reading my mind, he volunteered to take me to his “medicine man” (MM) who resided somewhere in Mukono. Come the agreed day, we set off for Mukono, the place was located about 6 kilometres along the Mukono - Kayunga road. On reaching the MM’s place, after parting with 5,000 Uganda shillings, we were ushered in by a very beautiful young woman (probably in her early twenties). We went straight into a grass hut that had been well carpeted with all sorts of animal skins and mats. It was not long before that MM began asking me several questions. He asked me of my family background, what I did for a living, blah, and blah, blah! He began by telling me that, I was looking for money, who wasn’t? Even he himself was! He got out a small water calabash and began sprinkling us with the water while saying “ebisirani bigende” (let the misfortunes go)! He then gave us some leaves that we had to hold in our palms, and that, we should spit on the herbs as we utter the jobs we wanted to get! I asked for a job of a Bank Manager and the guy assured me that, I would get the job before long! Twenty or so years down the road, I have never ever landed a job in the Bank, not even that of a Messenger; the closest I get to the bank is having a Bank account, but being a Bank Manager, that is just a dream! As they say, in order to realise your dream, you must wake up! As for me, I have realised that, the MM’s dream is just a bad dream! Maybe I haven’t waited long enough! The one million dollar question on everyone’s lips is, “do the witch doctors really work?” mfashumwana@fastmail.fm