The Villager With Mfashumwana Vil

“A Visit to La Palise, Gashora (Cont’d)” Having enjoyed the various tribes of drinks, ARMSTEL BOK, the other ARMSTELs, MUTZIG, PRIMUS, Smirnoff Ice, Fanta’s, etc.! Our stomachs were set ready for the “punishment” we were about to subject them to. First and foremost, the Gatogo was brought in, this comprised a mixture of bananas and ibirayi (Irish potatoes) cooked in groundnut sauce, mixed with goat’s meat and offal’s; the food was quite delicious, call it finger licking! You know, after the sporting that many of us hadn’t undertaken for months or even years, it was nerve breaking to accomplish such a task. The tender gatogo landed on a nearly empty stomach, save for the few tribes of drinks! Having had a starter, we decided to have a second round of the tribes of drinks. ARMSTELS in all their kin and kith, PRIMUS likewise, Smirnoff’s, TUSKER etc., were all lined up for punishment. Though some of us thought we were punishing the drinks, most probably, the drinks were thinking likewise. It was a matter of time and it would become obvious as to who was fooling who (the drinks or the drinkers)! How I wished the Diaspoman was here, if so, he would most probably have “drowned” in these tribes of drinks! Talk of a Diaspoman and I’m left wondering as to how far he is Diaspo! It is quite ironical that, despite his having retuned home nearly a decade or so ago, he still wants us to believe that, he is still in Diaspora! How I wish he would change his name from Diaspoman to something like “Homeman”! Of course that would apply to me too, having left the village in a similar manner, and now living in the City, I no longer deserve to be a Villager whatsoever. I’m proving so many people wrong, they normally say that, “you can take a villager out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of him”, in my case, the village in me has virtually disappeared! Maybe that is a subject for discussion next time! From nowhere, without warning, the skies opened up and it began raining as if someone had bewitched the skies! When you go out to the lakeside, all you need is water on one side and the sun on the other; but when nature conspires against you, and then things are bound to fall apart! We now had water on the surface and yet more water coming from above! This was not about to kill our picnicking mood in any way. It was fast becoming damp and chilly; the best way to fight back was to have more and more “hot stuff” as well as to increase our body temperature. We began dancing around as well as taking stronger liquors and this did the trick! Moments later, nature could not fight us and so, the rains seceded as our partying continued! It was suggested that, a visit to any lakeside is not complete until one has had a bout of lake cruising! We decided to take a boat ride on the lake, why not? Most probably, it was the booze in us rather than us that needed the ride! We were given those famous “life jackets” to don on as we attacked the lake. The boat driver or is it pilot, sped off at a high speed and kept rocking the boat from left to right. I suppose that is how he does his thing or maybe he wanted to scare the hell out of many of us! If he thought he would scare me, he must have been mistaken! I weathered many storms, sailed worse lakes than this, in fact, to me, this lake was like a “swimming pool” c’est tout! As a matter of fact, the meek hearted almost threw up and the boat man was enjoying that! We returned to shore about half an hour from start and many vowed never to have to live such an experience again. As it was fast getting dark, we decided to hit the road and head for Kigali. On the way, somewhere in BILYOGO (not the Nyamijos Bilyogo), it was overpoweringly decided that, we stopped over for a one for the road! Why not? We spent an hour or so having yet more drinks and “bullshits” (brochettes)! By the time we hit Kigali, it was in the hour or minutes to midnight; thank God, there are more “huhamu”( breathalyser), otherwise, the percentage of blood in our alcohol would have made the devices to explode! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm