Have you had to battle persistent thoughts in your mind that were two sided? One side is constantly telling you to follow your man every time he steps out of the house and the other telling you it is probably nothing. Those thoughts are not wrong. What is wrong however, are the thoughts you choose to dwell on. If it is the thought of it probably being nothing then trust is not an issue but if your mind is focused on following him, then you are too far gone to pull out. Moreover, it all starts like this. You start feeling less and less attractive and even his constant efforts to compliment you do not help. Worse still, every time you go out, some girl catches his eye. This drives you crazy but women must understand that beautiful women will always exist and men will always look! This is a fact! There is absolutely no point in torturing yourself with thoughts of ‘he must be lusting after her’ or ‘I bet he wished I looked more like her’. Honestly, there is a chance he is in fact lusting for another woman but you can never know that for sure unless you are psychic! Instead, be positive and say ‘what a beautiful girl !’ because to think that is simply realistic. Let us face it women, beauty is beauty. You might think that this is a very poor analogy but it is no sillier than the negative thoughts stuck in the mind. Excessively, many assumptions are put into what a partner may or may not be thinking. This is usually because you feel that you do not measure up to the outwardly beautiful women around you. Insecurity and jealousy are not a good combination. Do you feel like you are competing with every other woman you come across? When a female crosses your path, do you instantly look for a flaw to make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like life would be so much easier if it were just you and your loved one on the planet? Girl, if you have spent anytime in these horrible traps then, behold, you are in fact completely and utterly jealous and distrustful. It is not a judgment; we have all fallen short and found ourselves in such a position where we go crazy with silly questions like ‘what is he thinking?’ We must understand that the world will go round whether we choose to trust or not. It does not stop for anyone. Spending an entire relationship and the ones that follow dwelling on what a man’s thoughts are, is a total waste of time. You cannot control your partner’s thoughts and the sooner you realize this the less time you will spend worrying about his thoughts. Do something about the way you look if you feel that badly about it. Some women ‘let themselves go’ after dating for a while and stop putting effort into their appearance. I am not saying that you go and buy a completely new closet of skimpy clothes. Just be the woman he fell in love with. Do not ever lose yourself to the drama that surrounds relationships. Even after a whole kindergarten of kids, men appreciate the fact that a woman still wants to look pretty for him. There is no harm in looking good, instead of walking around the whole place with breast milk stained tops, unkempt hair and chipped nails! He is not with you for just one reason. He is with you because you fit together. Life is full of choices and you can choose to think positively. Then and only then can you smile and enjoy the life that you were given. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk
