Insight: Loving who you are

Every day, most people have an excruciating war within themselves. It is a steady fight that includes constant criticism, pressure, anger, sadness and infinite cruel comparisons. It is an everyday struggle that gets in the way and keeps you from seeing yourself for who you really are and achieving your true purpose in life. How did this happen and why? The answer to that question is in a well-known and very often used word: Self-esteem. However, does everyone really understand what self-esteem is? Self-esteem is the way you look at and feel about yourself. It means to value something or someone, thinking and believing that that something or someone is of great importance. If you are always fighting with yourself and feeding on thoughts that make you feel less valuable or not as important or attractive as other people, then you are suffering from Low Self-Esteem. Sadly, most people suffer from this; however, you can kick low self-esteem out of your life, by inviting and living with a high self-esteem. Living a life of great poise is challenging, but can be done. If you have tried giving your self-esteem a boost, but were later disappointed to see that, it did not quite work out the way you imagined, do not run away just yet! Like every other person, you have probably adapted to believing that feeling insecure is normal and impossible to beat; therefore setting a subconscious rule that you need to and deserve to feel badly and poorly when you look at yourself. You need to understand that low self-esteem cannot be cured in one day, or even soon for that matter. Stop giving yourself and everything around you unrealistic deadlines because high self esteem doesn’t happen in a jiffy. It requires loads of hard work and constant reassurance. Also, understand that it can never and it will never be achieved as long as negative ingredients are involved such as giving up. Yes, it will be hard to get rid of, especially because “giving up” is partnered with another negative ingredient named “laziness”. Candidly, you might wish to change the way you feel about yourself, but have grown too lazy to do anything about it. Why? Factually, you find it easier to stay in the position that you are already in. What matters is the choice to stay in negativity for so long that you have become so comfortable with the fact of not liking yourself. It is a harsh way to put it but it is what it is. This is precisely why terminating low self-esteem is complex. You handed over all of your power to it, allowing it to dictate your being. Try becoming your own best friend as opposed to being your enemy. Stand up and face low self-esteem in the face, along with all the fears that come with it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you have the power to be happy, confident and successful. This is because you are valuable and deserve it, just as anyone else. Reassuring yourself is the key to improving the way you feel about yourself. Do not be afraid to face yourself. Crucially, you must stop comparing yourself to others. You are you and not anyone else and never will be. People are different, created with different packages and talents. You are unique and hold talents and qualities that no one else has, and that is something to take pride in and love about you. Concentrate on learning and knowing that you are special, loveable, capable and very much acceptable. It all begins with accepting and loving yourself, knowing that you are the most important person to obtain acceptance from. Once done, everything and everyone else around you will follow suit. To finish, be around positive people with positive energy. Get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start the change. You deserve to be happy and confident, because you are a fantastic and very special individual. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk