Diaspoman: When we experienced true thirst…

There is a time when our fridge was constantly packed with frothy products all the way from Bralirwa. We used to invite friends and foes to come home to partake from our bulging stores. We would drink every day and every night; but still the stock levels of the booze just simply refused to go down. That was during the mid 90s when Aggrey and I were still very wealthy and healthy bachelors. As for now, I happen to be the opposite of wealthy – my pockets are often caught red handed yawning in real hunger and real thirst! Anyways, during those mid 90s, the booze was flowing so much that we thought of a good idea; Why not invite the old men and women from the village to come over and share these goodies with us? We surely trusted that the throats of these old folks would be in a sharp condition and could consume sizeable amounts of the drinks. So we dispatched one of the office drivers to sneak off with the Land cruiser and head for Mutara province. He was on a special mission, to pick the old men and women from Mutara, to come and help us clear off the merchandise. Sure enough, they arrived safely. Without wasting much time, they began to clobber bottle after bottle. All along, Aggrey and I had believed that we were the Rwanda champions in terms of drinking. No way! Now, right before us, we had the Father and mother of all champions. They guzzled all the beers in the house in haste. Before we could realize what was happening, our elderly visitors had started to harass the whiskey and Gin bottles. And before the night was over, they had floored everything! The next morning, Aggrey and I woke up early and agreed that we had to call CHK hospital for an ambulance. We were so worried about our distinguished guests from Mutara. We were convinced that they were probably unconscious and were in dire need for re-hydration. But to our surprise, we found our guests seated out in our garden, conversing and looking very fresh. In fact, it was the both of the two of us, who needed urgent medical attention. Feeling concerned, Aggrey hurriedly carried 3 bottles of boiled drinking water to the garden. Our visitors appeared to be very happy to receive this much-needed water. They competed among themselves as to who would drink first. Then they all agreed to fill up all their glasses so that they could propose a toast to our good health.What happened in the ensuing few minutes left us completely bewildered. After each guest took a massive swig of the drinking water, they all sprung up from their chairs spitting and cursing. They immediately picked up their bags and demanded for a driver to take them back to Mutara. They were really angry and disappointed. What was the matter? Why had they reacted in such a manner? The explanation was simple; our visitors thought that the drinking water was nothing else other than Uganda Waragi! Phew…………..Talk about true thirst! diaspoman@yahoo.com