Aunt’s corner

Dear Aunt Silvia,I am a newly married woman with a wonderful husband. Now, recently, I heard a story that my husband has been having an affair with a widow behind my back. I went on a search mission of this woman and confirmed that it is true, but my husband is really hiding this relationship which has been ongoing even long before we got married. I am very bitter with my husband for cheating on me, I am thinking of packing my bags. What do I do?Veneranda, Dear Veneranda, It is unfortunate that you are starting your marriage on a sour note. But then –come to think of it, it might not be sour passé. Why? First of all you found out that this relationship of your husband and this woman came into existence long before you were married, right? So this means that even though your man is having a secret affair with this woman, then it means that you are the one he has chosen above her, trust me that if he had wanted to marry this widow you are talking about he would have done so a long time ago-and you would have been history, but he chose you instead, so there is something to celebrate here after all. There is something about men that you should know. Not every woman they enter into a relationship with is a wife material. I stand to be corrected here; men themselves say that some women are only good enough to be girlfriends but not wives. Well that should tell you something-that your husband loves you despite his cheating habit.As a woman I know what it means to have a cheating husband, believe you me, most of us have gone through that, but time comes when you have to carefully weigh your options my dear. I have always been a firm believer of communication in marriage. Once you communicate to your husband about your feelings and the relationship he is having out there, he might start looking at things differently and you just never know the action he might take. You also have to know that marriage is not a bed of roses. If I may inform you this, there are bound to be hiccups here and there considering the fact that this man is neither your brother nor relative, and the two of you met while adults of sound mind, with different habits and each with a mind of their own. So you need to learn him-and correct his wrong doings albeit lovingly. As much as marriage is not a bed of roses, you should not make it a bed of thorns either. Whatever you decide to make of that bed, remember that you will be sleeping on it as well, so try and make it as comfortable as you can. When the two of you are talking make sure that you have all the facts at hand. It would be very bad to accuse someone when you are not so sure of what you are accusing him of. Remind him of his marriage vows, and also the dangers of being involved with multiple partners out there. You just never know how many other partners his other woman has. So guard your marriage jealously but handle every situation with a lot of care. Ends