Aunt’s corner

Dear Aunt Silvia, I am a young entrepreneur lady and very ambitious in whatever I do. I can say that I am very successful in my business life. The only thing that seems to miss out in my life is a man to love. I don’t know what it is with me that men don’t like- I am very outgoing and attract a lot of attention from men, but once they get to know me well-they all disappear. Please, help me get a man to befriend and maybe eventually settle down with.Irene Dear Irene, It can be such a daunting task for a successful woman to get the right man for herself for the reasons that I will outline.First and foremost, men fear successful women. They feel intimidated when the woman they are dating is richer than they are, earns a bigger salary than themselves or is far more successful than they are. This is because men (most) have these alter egos that are larger than life.Also bear in mind that when a man dates a more successful woman, it is always perceived by the society that he is not in love with the woman but her money-so most men choose not to be called gigolos-thus leaving successful women in a lonely world.There is something also about some successful women, some of them seem to be so full of themselves and they boast about everything they have, leaving no space for their men to be what they are good at; being just themselves-men. You ought to look back at what you have been saying or doing, chances are that you want to be the ruling party in the relationship, which unfortunately does not auger well with most men, even if you are the one with a fat bank account, remember that a man will still want to pull the shots and not vice versa in almost everything – and if you do not give him the chance to be a man-he will go out to look for that woman that will treat him like a king.Not meeting the right person for you, can also be determined by the group of friends that you keep. If you hang around with a group of mediocre friends, then just know that your life will be just that. Get some friends with good background connections, and also go to social places that are patronised by serious people. If you go to these funny places full of young men who can’t even spell out their surnames, then you are bound to turn yourself into a rolling ball, to be played by whoever is at the ground-only to be dropped soon after like a hot potato.Stay focused and don’t be in a hurry to hook up with any Jack or Jill, everybody has a person waiting for them out there, its just that your time has not y et to come, and believe you me-God’s time is the best. I am not so sure about any dating clubs around, but I have hundreds of letters from people who need to hook up with a lady or a man to make friends with. I am still looking into creating a dating forum for our locals but am yet to get people whom we can partner up. In the meantime cast your nest far and wide-and wait for the day when you will meet that special person. When you meet the right person you will know he is the one, right from the first meeting. kayitesius@yahoo.com