Beat a drum, not a woman!

Statistics have for decades indicated that several men, educated or not, to a greater extent barter their wives. In my neighbourhood, a certain man called Serugendo, had the reputation of beating up his wife. Everyone questioned his sanity. Even though he was a husband and father of five, his violent behaviour did not bother him at all. Every time Serugendo argued with his wife, he badly beat her up. This makes me wonder if he married her to beat her up like a drum or if his marriage vows made no sense whatsoever. I wondered if the love for his wife had suffered a natural death as their marriage progressed. Unfortunately, my answer to that question did not materialize. The common mantra used by some men that, ‘when a man beats his wife, they are expressing their utmost love for her,’ is so backward, that my grandfather’s ears would hurt if he heard such nonsense. It simply is not logical! Any woman would happily do away with a kind of love that dictates that she daily be bartered to a bundle of pulp, in order to strengthen her marriage. A word from one of Rwanda’s spiritual leaders, Pastor Emmanuel Ntayomba, the Senior Pastor Healing Center Church, suggests that there is no reasonable explanation for wife bartering. “Marriage is supposed to be a depiction of Heaven on earth. This was the original plan of its author who is God. Therefore, there is no sound reason for a man to beat his wife,” he says. “She is supposed to enjoy every bit of marriage. This cannot be so when she is beaten. Inflicting pain on her body does not make her a better person but rather makes her wild,” he added. Besides the damage domestic violence causes on women, it affects the heart of any family. Yvette Mukankusi, a resident of Kimironko says homes are broken as a result of violence. “Several women decide to abandon their homes or even go as far as causing physical harm to their husbands, in some cases,” Mukankusi said. At the end of the day, there is absolutely no credible reason as to why women should be beaten as if they were some drum made of leather. If any man feels it is okay to beat a woman, then something is so wrong with their brain matter. jacqueuwera@yahoo.com