How bonds are created at family dinners

Research has shown that regular and meaningful family meals offer a large variety of benefits to children and parents. Staying connected isn’t easy. In many families each member goes off in a different direction: work, school, after-school and social programs, and many other activities Eating is a necessity of life, but it is also a central part of social relationships and cultural rituals. Eat together. Strive to eat as a family together at least one meal a day with no interruptions. This could be at breakfast before school, or in the evening at dinner. Generally food is both a symbolic and a material means of coming together. To, Richard Mugisha, 46 and a secondary teacher believes that food sharing is an almost universal medium for expressing fellowship; it embodies values of hospitality, duty, gratitude, sacrifice, and compassion. In this generation, it’s very apparent that patterns of eating are changing in response to changing societal arrangements, including work roles and technology. “Eating together has a socially integrative function. It binds people together in a web of social relationships and reciprocal obligations”. For young children this is the main source of exposure to family experiences. James Nyririshema, 55 remembers his childhood eating experiences; it is not the food he talks most about, but emotional recollections of happiness and warmth or of anger and tension at the family table meals. ‘As an everyday ritual, the family meal is a symbol of shared family life. It organizes the family, regularly bringing family members together and contributing to their physical, mental and social well-being “he emphasizes. At family mealtimes, parents know where their kids are; they can gauge their moods and needs, uncover and help solve problems. Again its at meal time conversation when family exchanges stories, anecdotes and news, this is a moment children learn about the adult world and the interests and attitudes of their parents, while adults get to learn about the interests and attitudes of their children’s world. Meal time is not only about food; it’s a time when family stories and jokes are told, when a sense of family values is instilled. Family meals can serve also as an emotional clearing-house and support system when someone’s down or excited or angry or in a quandary. Family meals are becoming a lost ritual, and since their benefits are extensive, it’s important to get them back. The menu in family meals may not be varied but the shared time, even if it doesn’t happen every night, is priceless. As family members take off in different directions, sharing meals can be a time to regroup. Let me hope it is not unreasonable to suppose that if families do not gather together at meals, one important weft of family life is loosened since it’s at family mealtimes, children learn developmental skills such as holding a cup or manipulating chopsticks, and acquires and develops language and literacy skills through the flow of conversation. ntagu2005@yahoo.com