Spare the rod and spoil the child

It’s time to throw the rod away. I once heard a story about a child who was given 100 strokes of the cane by her own dad for talking to a boy. For crying out loud they were just talking, it’s not like she was giving him a lap dance! Why do people assume that when a girl and a boy talk, the only thing that can come out of it is a pregnancy? Some parents think that beating kids is the only way to keep them disciplined and that is so wrong. Or maybe they think that imposing the same kind of harsh treatment their parents imposed on them will keep their children in line. It is not fair and its completely unnecessary because contrary to popular belief, discipline can be achieved without spanking a child. Schools are popular for their harsh treatment and the best reason besides discipline they give is forcefully keeping their education standards high. Even at the risk of coming off as offensive, our ability to excel in studies is totally different. It is so silly to expect all children to meet the same high standards of excellence without taking time to focus on their weaknesses. Plus, it takes a really insensitive person to beat a child for being ‘slow’. It takes a really insensitive person to beat up a child at all! Sit kids down and talk to them. Build a relationship where they can feel free and open up. Take an example the child whose dad unleashed 100 sticks on her behind; he didn’t even give her the benefit of the doubt and take time to think that maybe, just maybe, they were talking about homework or nature even. She was decent enough to talk to him in the open and not in some dark corner and still that got her beaten. That was no way to handle it. That’s how good kids become rebellious because no matter what they do, they are literally beaten all the time. Sometimes the more a child is beaten, the more obstinate they become especially when they know they are not doing anything wrong. They feel like if they are going to be beaten they might as well be punished for something. Some people might wonder how a child gets punished for nothing. The girl talking to a boy was punished for nothing. Since when was it a crime to talk to a boy? Sure, some parents want to put their kids on the right track at all costs but that does not mean that gruelling them for the silliest of things is right. Whether it is that top grades are not met, or they wet the bed, or never finish their food or even for having imaginary friends, it isn’t right to strike a child. People get arrested for that and I just wish it could be enforced everywhere. Just because they are young and dependant on older people doesn’t mean their rights should be violated. Children need love, understanding and care not whips to their backs or bottoms. Letting them know its okay to make mistakes is one way to go about it. They will learn from those mistakes because that is how we all learn. We are human after all. It is important to have a relationship where a child feels free to tell their parents absolutely anything however embarrassing it may be. That is the kind of communication that works better than the rod. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk