Relationships: Are men shying away from commitment?

Recently, Peter, a friend of mine who finished university four years ago, was telling me that he is planning to switch off his phone, pack his bags and vanish to another country, never to be seen again. Reason? He is running away from his long-term girlfriend who is so determined to ensure that the two lovebirds walk down the aisle. Peter assured her that they within two years of leaving school they would live as husband and wife forever. Two years passed and Peter was showing no signs of popping the question, which prompted Anne to confront him. Peter’s only excuse was that he’s not yet landed a permanent job and needs some time, at least more two years. Fair enough and within two years, Peter was thriving in an excellent job. Everything pointed to that picture perfect marriage. And all their friends keep asking: “When are you getting married? Anne beams happily, “soon”. Peter meanwhile is all set with a visa to run to the United States in order to escape Anne’s tightening grip. “Look, I just clocked 30, I have just entered my prime years, everything is just opening up for me, the money, the trips, the fun with my boys and the girls too. I am not ready to abandon this, just because am gonna get married,” he jokingly tells his friends while sipping a cold beer. The ‘boys’ (30 and above) all respond in support and laugh in unison. The waitress is told to bring another round of beers, as she places them on the table, one of the boys taps her behind. They laugh again. This is the modern man, 30+ and still out to have fun. Single life is more appealing, unlike parenthood which is boring and expensive. To Peter it’s a life long prison sentence that subjects you to hard labour. Daniel Donahoo, a prominent writer on relationships, would say Peter is suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome which makes men believe that they haven’t yet grown up. That’s your modern man. The prospect of starting a family is not top of his priority list. He is more concerned with education, politics, investment and his career. Marriage can wait. Psychologist Merlene Clarke says men today are totally challenged by the new breed of empowered women who are no longer your old typical house wife of the past, who almost had no say in marriage issues. The era of female emancipation has churned out clear-cut independent women. Today’s woman cannot be fooled or intimidated by a man. They are financially independent and can equally contribute to decision making. As a result men, feel intimidated and are chickening out of possible marriage relationships citing all sorts of reasons and excuses. According to Clarke, today’s woman thinks ahead of time. While at 28 she feels the clock is ticking away, at 32 the guys feels like he has just entered his prime days. After walking out of several disappointing relationships with not-serious-at-all men, women decides to take the next step. After all she is financially stable; she may not need his help. So next time you are at your favourite coffee shop sipping away at your cup of coffee and the kid with a woman on the next table comes up to you, don’t ask how is Daddy? Daddy may not necessarily be a concern to the little one since Mum can pay for the milkshake and the next scoop of ice cream. Way to go girls! It’s not your fault; it’s us men who are destroying the family concept. But remember you can always take the bull by the horns and pop the question yourself. Ends