What happened to getting down on one knee?

Asking a girl’s dad for her hand in marriage and taking a knee while presenting a jewelry box is still a fine way to propose. We have come a long way from a time when women were property who needed their father’s permission, yet, there is still something nice and respectful about asking for a parents’ blessing. The question is how many men still do the ‘get down on one knee’ thing? Stunts have changed but nothing beats the old ring-in-a-box simplicity. Some people today think getting down on one knee and pulling out a diamond engagement ring is old-fashioned but I sturdily trust that this is what almost every woman fantasizes about from when they were little girls practicing with their dolls. It’s not 1950, but there is something so charming and romantic about a man on one knee asking the love of his life to marry him. Even for the most modern man, one bended knee show the seriousness and lovingness of his proposal. Talking about the possibility of getting married is a good way to ensure that when that question is popped, the answer will be positive. Sometimes catching her off guard is not the best idea. You don’t want her to be taken completely off guard, as such a proposal is almost without doubt guaranteed to elicit only a hesitant yes, or worse still a, ‘I’ll have to think about it.’ But who are we kidding? This is Africa! Marriage has become more of an obligation and therefore, the chances of a proposal being turned down (at least here in the motherland) are a million to one! It’s crazy like that. However, obligation or not, it is always nice to let a girl know (even if you don’t mean it) how much you want to spend the rest of your life with her; and what better way to start that journey than an old school proposal? Now, even though you have discussed getting married, the marriage proposal itself should still be a surprise. Find a moment and a way where she will not suspect a thing. Try to put the r back in romance. It doesn’t have to be the whole scented candles, rose petals in a hot tub with a bottle of champagne scenario (although that would be a bonus). Simplicity can still be romantic if done appropriately and whole heartedly. The words are just as important as the knee on the ground. Saying, “Will you marry me?” is a huge deal, and one that leaves many proposers completely inarticulate. So practice! It might feel silly, but try saying the words out loud a few times. You might want to write down exactly what you are going to say and practice a little, to make sure you come off as smooth and confident. Don’t just utter those four little words, tell her why she’s the one for you, what marriage means to you, and what your hopes for the future are. This particular proposal, simple as it is, also needs some creativity. Think about your favorite romantic places -- choose a meaningful spot to pop the question. It could be as simple as the comfort of your living room, or as complicated as whisking her away for a weekend in Paris. But whatever you do, don’t ask her in a market aisle! Make it memorable in a romantic way and the market aisle hardly fits the romantic bill. If script-writers were to be believed, every wedding proposal would take place in front of a thousand people. So unless she’s said she wants a splashy proposal, make it intimate and personal. That magical moment should be between just the two of you – after all, you’ve got the rest of your lives to tell other people about your marriage but you’ve only got one engagement moment. In the end, whether the marriage rocked or sucked, proposal day will always be entrenched in her mind as one of the finest moments of her life. It will be a story she will tell her grand kids if given the opportunity. That was the way things were done, that is the way they should remain today. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk