I hate people who…

…have friends with bad breathe. Yes, you read it right. I do not really hate people with bad breathe, I actually hate their friends more. Yes, you know yourselves. You have a friend whose mouth smells so bad that once he opens his mouth you can think a sewage pipe is leaking nearby. The annoying thing is that you have till now not bothered to tell these people that they have a problem. Now my anger is being directed towards you for keeping your mouth shut as your friend rots inside! The guy with the problem may not be aware but you who is aware should be the one to save society. It is time to choose between losing your friend and losing your breathe. You cannot breathe if the nearest person’s smells like hot garbage. …have a habit of begging for chewing gum. I wonder what is really happening to the world. Isn’t chewing gum supposed to be one of the cheapest things that you do not even need. Then why on earth do we still have people who go to work, earn a salary but will be quick to beg you for chewing gum the moment they see you have some. Who tells you that when I was buying mine, I was thinking about you? And don’t give me that lousy look. Go buy your own gum, please. If you have trouble with that then just keep off. After all that gum is not a necessity. So you will not die if I do not share it with you. By the way I am not that mean, I just want to tame your lousy habit of begging, that’s all. …think weddings are all about giving speeches. The other day I attended a wedding and I was shocked at how people insist on giving long boring speeches. I thought we came to see two people getting married in holy matrimony not part time thinkers wasting our time by conducting their rehearsals for public speaking contests. Who even invites these people to spoil good moments? I swear I am not thinking of postponing my wedding or having it very far from such people. I feel this is the only way I can survive falling asleep on my own wedding day. . …get excited over any small development. Since I earn a living from hating, I will go straight ahead and hate all of you who are talking about how things will get much better once Airtel joins the Telecom market. I welcome Airtel but who tells you they are going to offer free services, you will still have to pay and at the end of the day we shall continue to have lousy people refusing to return calls simply because they had switched sim cards again. I hate people who get excited over ordinary developments. You guys bore me. …insist on changing something a thousand times. Can someone please get me the telephone details or address of this boy called Zuckerberg. Yes the kid who runs this thing called Facebook. Who tells him to change the damn thing every time he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed? We are only using it to get in touch with old friends and relatives. We are not interested in useless updates and changes. After all there is no school that teaches Facebook so why indulge us in new learning experiences we never asked for. I swear the next time he changes it I am just going to go back to using a postal address to contact my friends. If this Facebook chap ever becomes president he will change the constitution weekly. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293 The Hater