Testimony of a drunkard

“My name is Moses Mucho. It all started with escaping from school with peers to attend night discos. Before I got influenced into this by peers, I was a reserved and naive boy who had no record of serious mischief, unlike many other teenagers at the time. At discos, it started with friends convincing me to take a “sip” at bottles of beer; many times I turned their requests down because I felt doing so, was going against my conscience. At last, I yielded to pressure because I didn’t want to disappoint my friends. Slowly by slowly, sips graduated into complete drinking. It wasn’t long before I got introduced to smoking—just through a similar course; beginning with a puff and later growing into a chain smoker. As if that wasn’t enough, we soon begun running after girls and women and premarital sex became ordinary place. My parents sent me a lot of money; in fact, many called me “rich kid”, but all this would get spent in a night. What hurt most is that, I not only spent it on myself but also anyone who cared especially women. My class grades declined—someone who was once at the top of his class was now leading from the bottom. This was obviously because I had transferred the effort I put in books to drinking and running after girls. It hurt me but it was a helpless situation all together, I felt I could do nothing about it. I turned out to be a nuisance at school as a result; suspensions and other punishments became routine because of endless crimes. This was sharp irony, for someone who once won prizes at school for being the most disciplined. My disobedience extended from school to home and soon, my parents lost the confidence and respect they had for me -- and started viewing me as wild and wasted. Time came when the school couldn’t contain my wild behavior anymore, and so I was expelled. My father also chased me from home, so it was double doom. I went out to face the tough world. I would like to free myself from this prison called alcohol, but tried my best and failed. Many times I have made resolutions to break the habit, but it doesn’t take long before I fall back to it desperately. I have read many self–help books about defeating alcohol addiction, gone to rehabilitation centres and sought counseling, but all this effort seems to have fallen on infertile ground. Alcohol has also led to a decline in my health. I have lost weight and appetite and have frequent memory loss. I no longer have friends; my only companion in a cold world is the bottle. My situation is pathetic and the future seems bleaker. Sometimes I get so depressed and begin contemplating suicide. At times, I break down and cry in self-pity. I just don’t know what to do! A miracle should happen if I will ever get out of this pathetic situation. Only God knows what my fate holds.” ivan.ngoboka5@gmail.com