Diaspoman: Finally my Graduation day may be nigh

Thank God I finally presented my thesis at the University. I can now safely say that my Graduation day is becoming more of a reality than a dream! It has taken me a long time to arrive at this grand stage. Thanks to Aggrey who has been my rock all the way through these years. Ever since I came back from the Diaspora, I realized that my applications for jobs were always turned down due to the miserable state of my C.V. That is why Aggrey decided to sponsor me for this degree course. I cannot forget the first time I entered this huge campus! Everything was so new. For starters, I realized that most kids around had mistaken me for their professor. They did not know that I was a serious mature entrant who was going to strive for a University degree by hook or by crook. But then I had to battle it out with those dreaded frequent class tests! So when I first walked into the class for the test, I was hit by the realization that this would indeed be an uphill task! This realization came to pass when I boldly entered the exam room with my pocket full of items. These items ranged from pencils, pens, rulers, rubbers and a pocket size bible. I do not usually go for Sunday church service due to the hangover from the previous nights. But when I am in a dire need for something, I always remember my pocket bible. I put it near me so that when things became elephant for me, I could consult the holy verses for guidance. When I settled in the exam room for my first test, I knew that the paper would be crushed with no mercy. That is why I stretched my hands outwards in a bid to intimidate fellows around me. I figured out that my colleagues in class would attempt to copy my answers and therefore I had to employ all strategies of keeping them at bay. Besides, no one was contributing for my school fees and so they had no right whatsoever of borrowing a leaf from my old wisdom. When the tests were handed out to all of us, the invigilator rang the bell and asked us to kick off. I opened the test paper to read through the questions. What I saw almost made me go blind. All ten questions were written in easy and user friendly English. But my eyes simply refused to read the questions in the Queen’s English. Instead my eyes told me that the questions had been set in the Greek language. That is why I put up my hand to ask; “Why have you given us a test in the Greek language?” At this point all other students looked at me in bewilderment. They then let out thunderous laughter before embarking on the test. As they wrote out their answers on page after page, I was busy trying hard to understand the questions set before me. By the end of the third hour, my answer sheet was still blank. I just managed to inscribe my names and reference number before fleeing the exam room as a total failure. Those were the days! But thank God, I am now on the verge of graduating and hopefully join the working class! Watch out for the Diaspoman! With C.V in hand, I may soon come knocking at your door in search of a white collar job!! diaspoman@yahoo.com