Rachel’s Ramblings : Fighting for a guy is so demeaning!

Why do women scratch, growl and tear at each other over a man? Why go through that kind of humiliation because of a man? The saying ‘you have to fight for what is rightfully yours’ doesn’t apply to everything. Fight for land if you have the papers to prove it is yours; fight for the kids that you brought into this world; fight for the house that you built with your bare hands but fighting for a man—that is so wrong! The business of, ‘so and so stole my man,’ has got to stop. Men are only stolen because they want to be stolen. It is as simple as that. No one put him on gunpoint to go and be unfaithful. No one blackmailed him into having an affair or threatened to the life of his kids if he didn’t become unfaithful. I was out once having the time of my life when all of a sudden these two women started clawing at each others faces. Weaves flew off, bra straps snapped, tops looked more like rags by the time the bouncer managed separate them. Apparently the attacker found her ‘competition’ with ‘her man’ and wasn’t the least bit amused by the sight hence, showing her ‘competition’, what was up! However, the man in question did not seem vaguely bothered by this scene and simply continued with his drink without a care in the world, leaving the girls to sort themselves out. So, was that little show worth it if the man didn’t even have the decency to explain himself and clarify on which woman he wanted around? Obviously, he didn’t want either, which is why he went about his business yet the girls wasted no time in making complete fools of themselves by fighting for him. I can understand why a married woman would fight for her man even though the fact still remains that the man wanted to be unfaithful. A wife makes an oath to stick by her husband through thick and thin till death doeth them apart. So, when some home wrecker threatens that pact any wife in her right mind has the right to defend what is hers—technically, he is hers. We don’t know what she has been through in that marriage and therefore she will make sure that her efforts weren’t for nothing. If there is no ring on a man’s finger showing that he belongs to someone, why then fight other women like the man has no connection to the problem whatsoever? The word ‘steal’ sounds a bit silly when referring to man. Was he put in a sack and thrown over a shoulder in the night and taken away sneakily? Was he kidnapped from his office and forced to have sex with his side dish in some motel? For all we know, we are all side dishes! It is a strong prospect that even the women attacked are just as shocked to find out about the man’s infidelity, seeing as they too thought they were the real deal: his one and only! If she didn’t know that the man was seeing someone and was just another card in his game, then is it necessary to attack her? If she did know and both of them didn’t care about being caught then still, fighting would be too good for them. They don’t deserve that kind of reaction and walking away from the problem would be a much smarter option. We need to learn that some things are out of our hands no matter what we do right. Let us not torture ourselves with, ‘what did I do wrong’ or ‘do I deserve this?’ No one deserves to be cheated on but it will happen anyway if it is meant to happen. Fighting for a cheating spouse is preposterous and makes one look desperate and clingy and all those things smart women should not be. Chill the catfights and focus on what’s best for you. A cheating spouse isn’t one of those things! If he comes back then hurray but if he does not then probably, the relationship wasn’t meant to be. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk