Relationships:To love is to sacrifice

‘To love is to sacrifice’ is a popular phrase that is not given much thought. Over the weekend, as I sat in a bus heading to Western Uganda, I was not feeling so well and wondered why I was even bothered with this tiring trip. In the car, sat my uncle and a cousin, who are close relatives, the rest were just people I fellowshiped with at my local church. I thought about the fact that I had crossed the border, passed by my ancestral home without even dropping off to see my own people. And here I was escorting someone who is not a blood brother just because he wanted to pay off his dowry dues and get a wife. This guy is not my brother, if he were maybe, I would not think about all this, because we would probably be enlarging our family but no, I wasn’t and yet here I was with John and his family escorting him to get a bride. I then concluded that life is about love and true love comes with sacrifice for another human being even when there is nothing materialistic to benefit. As much as there are all kinds of relationships in this world, the only thing that binds them is love. If it were not for this unconditional love, non us, to be precise let me say, I would not get up feeling sick, travel past my home village, just to escort John, who is not my brother. This in my understanding was a result of love and later on sacrifice. Life is about loving and being loved but love with no action is dead, the same goes for love without sacrifice. When we choose to love we should also know that we have to sacrifice, be it in friendships, work, marriages or even in churches. We have to sacrifice for one another, that should be an obligation for everyone. Sacrificial love adds meaning to life, it feels great seeing people or someone stand with you at all times, in joy and in sorrow. Knowing someone out there cares, loves, prays and sacrifices for your sake, is priceless. As we spoke with Victor, who was the grooms bestman, he said, “I have a relative’s wedding today that I was supposed to attended but because I love John, I had to sacrifice and be here with him on this day so that he will know that I love him.” On our way back,I decided to ask my uncle why he had come along. He is an old man and I expected Uncle Charles to stay and rest at his home in Kabeza but he said, ‘tugomba gusabira abana bacyu kandi uyu nu umucyo twakuye kuri ba sogokuru,’ meaning, ‘we have to get brides for our sons, it is a culture we learnt from our grandfathers.’ he added that my grandfather showed love to his tribesmen so I should do the same to all people. With his words, I learnt that sacrificial love draws way back from the time of our forefathers and therefore, it is not something that should just be eroded. Rwandans should love and sacrifice for each other for the good of the country. jacqueuwera@yahoo.com