Insight: Women and bickering relatives

Usually, women have issues with their relatives more often than men do. In most cases, they are closer to friends than relatives. Often times, they will be close to a few relatives and have issues with some of their cousins, aunties and nephews. No doubt, often times, friends might play the relative role quite perfectly while the relatives might turn out to be foes instead. Growing up in a Muslim family, Faridah Karema, a resident of Nyamirambo had countless brothers and sisters since her dad had so many wives. Her father was quite wealthy; he had lots of businesses, land and herds of cattle. Faridah’s was an extended family with so many relatives. Her father seemed like the wealthiest in the clan so he took care of most of the relatives. He fed, clothed and paid their school fees. Everything went on well, but after sometime, relatives started acting weird. She was the last born and definitely her parents’ favorite. However, her relatives were always offended by any expression of love and care from Faridah’s parents to their daughter. They did not keep in mind the fact that Faridah’s parents were taking care of their every need, besides giving them shelter. Faridah is a married woman today, but she still has a bitter relationship with her relatives. They have held these grudges since childhood and they are more like rivals. “When I have a problem, I run to my friends. My relatives and I don’t connect at all. I don’t trust them. My friends have been there for me all through the years,”Faridah said. According to Faridah, “we all need relatives but if they can’t act like they are your family, then let go.” She adds that her parents took care of her relatives but all they reaped from their kindness was hatred. Mamilier Muvunyi, who is a resident of Kisementi, Remera, said that sometimes relatives can be a pain. He advises that it’s good to keep a good relationship with them but it’s better to keep a distance as well. “My wife has issues with relatives as well. We decided to pay them visits once in a while, invite them for a meal but not never allow them to stay longer than expected,” Mamilier says. Mamilier adds that it’s better to keep relatives far away but keep in touch with them. Life is unpredictable. We might need relatives at some point in our lives or they might need us, so we ought to fight to establish a good relationship with them.However, we should keep friends, who might ‘stick closer than a brother’ like the saying goes. m.kaitesi@yahoo.com