Does age really matter?

Or is it just a number like many people say. Age is one of the factors many people look out for when dating or ready to settle in a relationship. The whole age thing is usually an issue with women who are mostly afraid of what people will think when she’s dating a man way older or younger than she is. Well, there are no rules to this except of course the people involved are minors or below the acceptable age which varies in different countries. If there is a wide age difference, then you are both at different stages in your life which might mean that your priorities and ambitions differ. If a man in his late 40’s is dating a girl in her mid 20’s, they might have totally different interests. The girl might want to party all the time, watch movies while the man just wants to sit home and watch CNN or go to the farm. There are bound to be differences emotionally, mentally and physically if one’s fiancée is way older than them. Couples with a wide age difference, say a 10-years age gap, might disagree on a number of issues because of different interests. Nonetheless, it’s also possible that there might be compatibility even when there is a vast age difference. Age difference might not matter if the two people understand each other well, share common interests and are happy about each other’s age, in other wards age has nothing to do with their relationship. So should age be an issue? Should one fall out of a relationship simply because their spouse is much older or younger? Charlotte Karugaba says her husband is fourteen years older than her but they’ve never had any marital disharmony in their marriage that is age-related. “Mark and I met while I was still at University. He was my supervisor when I was doing my internship. We fell in love and I was obviously worried about what people would say concerning his age especially my family. They weren’t happy about it, the fact it he even already had children with his ex spouse,” says Charlotte. Charlotte narrates that Mark was an exceptional compared to the other guys she had dated who were in her same age group. The other guys never seemed serious about the relationship. They were after short term relationships as if sampling and then they would go to the next girl. “Mark wanted to settle down. We have a social life and often go out to watch our favorite jazz bands; we go for picnics and often have vacations without the kids. We are happy despite the age difference. We have the same interests,” Charlotte adds. Charlotte explains that the whole age thing comes down to the individual and shouldn’t be ruled by society. If a girl feels more comfortable with a man in the same age group then she will never be comfortable in a relationship with a guy who is much older or vice versa. She says that one might be a older than you but when you have a lot in common and share interests. She adds that age should never determine whether a relationship should be or not. What matters is whether the two of you are compatible with each other and selflessly love each other. Nkurikiyinka Gashumba, 87, says that back in the day, men would marry women who were much younger but in most cases the spouses were determined by parents. “I would advise the young people to get married to those in the same age group because they would understand each other better and have same interests.However; the main issue should be love and the values each of you hold,”Gashumba recommends. Gashumba says that if the rest of you are ready to spend your lives together and truly love each other, then you are good to go. Age matters but isn’t such a big issue where there is love. Prudence Ingabire, a 24 year old says that she can’t get into a serious relationship with a guy who is less than five years older than her. “When a guy isn’t five years older than a girl, usually the girl is more mature than he is. It feels like your dating a guy younger than you when he could even be two years older. This is because we probably mature faster than the guys. I would also prefer a man with experience,”Ingabire explains. She says that girls want to settle with a man who is more mature which isn’t usually the case with same age groups. We can’t choose what age the person we fall in love should be? Whether age matters or not, this should be left to the couple concerned. If the two are fine with their age difference, then it shouldn’t matter. m.kaitesi@yahoo.com