Jacque’s Vibes : Should movies affect relationships?

Anna, 25 year old is in a relationship with Moses a 28 year old guy who still thinks he has not explore d a lot in his love life—call it adventure if you so wish. He does not give her the best ‘love’ like the one she watches in popular TV soap operas. She loves movies so much and spends almost all her free time watching love stories. She narrates movie scenes as if she participated in the act—she believes she knows word for word, plot after plot. “I have to let Moses know about this, I think that is how we are supposed to treat each other,” she said. I did not disagree but like the movie she had narrated, her expectations were so excellent. The way the main woman character was treated in the movie, is exactly the same way she wanted Moses to treat her. A relationship that has no tear at all and finally ends like the fairytales that I read in class one of my elementary school: “The prince kissed the princess and they lived happily ever after.” People are quick to forget that movies are stage managed and that life cannot simply be stage-perfect like in movie scenes. Even the great philosophers had no perfect life. Different characters take time to practice and perfect each part of the movie they act; it’s not that they are acting it as they live it in their own lives, they are paid for it—it is their job. Couples should be original in their relationships, and not try to be like that great film star. What partners forget is that film characters, are simply acting out a particular scene. Complaints like, ‘he is not as passionate or as romantic’ as a certain film star are immature. Comparing actors to a spouse and expecting them to live up to the standards in movies is unacceptable. For example; when a TV soap opera lover expects her man to resemble Salvado, the actor in ‘Second Chance’, a popular TV series. This is not for someone who thinks they are old enough to be in a serious relationship. There should be a level of maturity in relationships. Therefore, movies should not affect your relationship. Your relationship should bear with it originality and couple should aim at being real. jacqueuwera@yahoo.com