Happy to get triplets, uncertain about the future

At 34 years, Theogene Murindabyuma recalls the happy moments in 2002 when he married his beloved wife Marie Chantal Nyirahabimana. For Murindabyuma, the solemn vow, “I promise that in good and bad times I will always be there for you”, ring true. With no fixed job but cultivating people’s farms to earn something to survive on, the father of newly born triplets is struggling to see that his family of six children and one adopted can survive. As one struggles to get to his house built on a steep slope in Kivugiza village in the sector of Murambi, Gasabo District, one can’t but imagine the kind of life the father of the new triplets is leading with his family. Cars being a rare sight in Kivugiza village, the appearance of the one we came in causes such a stir in the whole village. Almost all the residents are concerned, anxious to know where the car is heading to and who the lucky hosts are. It therefore came as no surprise when on parking; the entire village seemed to follow us to the house which is home to the bundle of three. One could think a village meeting had been summoned. We politely excused ourselves and informed the gathering that we were just journalists visiting and interested in talking to the family with triplets. We were introduced to Theogene Murindabyuma, the head of the family. The simple and soft spoken father of the new bundle of joy, putting on a stained patched pair of trousers, looked free and welcomed us to his family. Dressed like a typical hard working village man, the father of seven tells the story of how he met his wife and how God has blessed him with six children. “I thank God for my family. I have been blessed with seven children,” he said. He also revealed that he and his wife also have an adopted child, a story he preferred to tell another time. Murindabyuma said that he welcomes everyday in a different way. “Each day is a special day and I treat it differently”. “You know as a man you will “never say die” meaning that you have to keep pressing on and working hard. Of course there are times when you feel like the world is not fair but then what does that mean”? He asks, somehow philosophically. However, much as he seemed to be at ease with what life throws at him, he seemed to acknowledge the weight of the new family members. “My brother, at night it’s bad news because when they begin to cry, it’s disaster,” he said with a chuckle, making light of the situation. At this point, he sighs. He seems to be pondering on what tomorrow will bring. “These triplets have changed our lives because it’s becoming too heavy for us. Being jobless complicates matters because the young triplets need a lot of care in terms of feeding, clothing, medical care, among others,” he says, nodding in what seems like resignation. Murindabyuma seems to think that twins would have been a lighter and perhaps happier bundle to receive. “If they were twins maybe the story would be different and understandable but with triplets things are tight,” he says with a distant gaze. On the other hand, his wife Nyirahabimana, is faced with yet a more urgent closer to the heart problem. She says breasting feeding the triplets is becoming a problem. “The milk in my breasts is not enough to satisfy them and I see them not growing up well because a child needs to breastfeed well and get satisfied,” she says with motherly concern. She is sitted on a papyrus reed mat that looked to be the bed of the triplets. She chats with us while breastfeeding one of the triplets. As she talks to us, one of triplets cries. Nyirahabimana excuses herself to pay attention to the little one. No sooner is she done with it than another seeks it own attention with a strained wail. At this point, I was in awe of the mother but also left with a sense of helplessness. I could only offer a silent prayer in my heart. In order to supplement her insufficient breast milk, Nyirahabimana feels the solution is in cow milk. However, this option is limited by lack of funds. Also jobless, Nyirahabimana, like her husband, cultivates on a casual basis in other people’s gardens to contribute to the dinner table, mat in this case. She says the challenges they are facing make them lead a hopeless life. “At times I feel like leaving these children home in order to go and look for what to eat but again I think twice because they are still too young to leave behind. I think at two weeks old, they are really so young.” It’s for that matter that fending for the family is now solely left to the husband who is fighting tooth and nail the family survives. “We are praying that maybe one day someone will come to our rescue,” Nyirahabimana said in a tone scarce of true hope. As I was trying to wind up our conversation, something kept tagging at my brain. I wondered why a poor man like Murindabyuma would have all those children. This prompted me to ask him whether he still hopes to have more children. Before I could even finish the question, he answered in a loud and clear ‘NO!”. “Brother these are the last children, and we are going to go to hospital and they stop us from producing,” he said. Shortly, we bid the family farewell. I travelled back to office pondering on my own life, wondering if I were in the same shoes what I would do. I concluded with the resolution to preach the importance of family planning and actually putting it in practice. Ends