Insights: When “enough” is enough

I have decided to dedicate this Sunday to ladies due to what I experienced recently. A female friend came to me recently shedding tears, telling how heart broken she is, how the fiancée is more of a dog than a man........she ranted words that I cant write down but her anger surely showed and she was tired of all the drama and pain she had been going through. In their usual hustle and bustle of life women have gone through a lot of drama and pain. Some have dealt with men, poverty, domestic violence, drugs and many more. And shockingly they are willing to talk about them. Ladies have dealt with drama at home, work, and school when meeting with a childs teacher or principal. Drama in the grocery store, at the sorority meeting, at the club, in the restaurant with numerous men “hitting” on them. But as my female friend said, she has come to a pivotal point in her life, a juncture that compels her to declare “enough is enough”. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever again. Like my female friend, more ladies must decide when theyve had enough and move on. Keep in mind, however, that there is such a thing as good drama, the kind that evolves when your man, unexpectedly, gets down on one knee, takes your hand in his and asks you to marry him. We dont want to abolish that kind of drama. Or the romantic drama of your mate surprising you with a trip to the Caribbean, or when your boss calls you into his or her office, and instead of firing you or chastising you for some misdeed, you get promoted or rewarded with a great perk. Or the drama that erupts when you get a first class degree... Thats the drama that you ought to have. Then theres the bad drama. The kind that erupts when your mate gets physically, verbally or psychologically abusive when you dont comply with his commands and demands. Thats a no go zone. The kind of quarrel that blows up when you confront your man about his other woman (or women) again. Enough of that. Assess the situation, decide what you must do, and then do it. If that means moving on and leaving the man and the drama behind, so be it. There is the kind of drama that seeps into your life when you make your journey home to see your mother or visit your sister, or that you encounter at family gatherings because there is a particular cousin who has annoyed or even hated you since you were kids playing games on the streets. You are supposed to be adults now, so dont continue to let such negative drama ruin family gatherings. Then theres the drama that engulfs you in your work place and space because you dont like your boss or a particular co-worker does not like you. Use common sense and leave that negative drama outside. Do your job and do it well, exhibit maturity and professionalism as you work through the personality conflicts. Keep in mind that some people, men included, seem to like drama. They provoke and evoke it; they thrive on it and connive to create it. They eat, sleep, walk and speak it. Drama queens and kings want to be the centre of attention; they talk the loudest, tell the most outrageous jokes, flirt shamelessly with other peoples mates and dates, dress flamboyantly or outrageously, and complain that everybody and everything else is crap. They demand attention and arent satisfied if there is no ruckus going on. Sadly, some often are mentally unstable individuals who often are characterized by substance abuse, whether that is alcohol or drugs. They usually harbour a lot of personal insecurities that manifest themselves in unpleasantly dramatic ways. Some dramatic women even provoke others, including their men, with loose lips and hips, trying to generate an emotional response; and when they get what they ask for, they are the first to cry foul and proclaim they are being abused and misused. Sometimes they even call the authorities, and that brings into your life and home drama of another kind, and you certainly dont want that kind of drama. An accomplished professional woman recalls the handsome man she considered marrying. But he had accumulated too much of everything, too many out-of-control kids, too many pets, too many cars and rooms in his big house, and too much debt. Too many issues Another recalls a suitor who had so many insecurities and issues she felt retained and drained. Drama king. Sometimes the mate or potential mate has too many friends and family members meddling in his life. Too many people giving him advice, setting his agenda, demanding his time. Leave him and his drama behind if he cant leave it behind. Then theres the good man with potential who was always changing jobs, sometimes by choice, other times by force. After being supportive through five jobs in 18 months, one hardworking, stable lady decided to terminate the man and his job drama. It is up to you, the other females and men inclusive to decide what kind of drama we want to deal with and how much and how often. As indicated, drama can be a good thing and taken. But constantly being engulfed in drama can be stressful and stifling. Sometimes a lady just needs time to chill out and be at peace. jeav202@yahoo.com

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Insights: When “enough” is enough