“Wife Seeking”

After several hugs and “mwaramutse” (good morning) here and there, and the several “ibibindi by’ikigaji” (pots of the local sorghum brew) and the most delicious milk on planet earth; roasted meat, cassava and so on and so forth, we were overwhelmed with what to eat or drink and what not to! The village folks kept insisting that, we looked malnourished and that, we should “revenge” on what we have been missing! The scenario was similar to getting a starving person to where there is plenty of food, if there is no control, that person could eat and eat and eat until his stomach does a pui (bursts)! Now, many of you may be wondering as to when I became a lawyer, sincerely, most of us are lawyers in one way or the other. My brother’s friend’s cousin’s sister was getting married; this would qualify me to being a “cousin in-law” better phrased, a “cousin lawyer”, now you see! Towards midday, the husband to be and his entourage arrived and had to wait to be ushered into their seats. The place was a beehive of activities. We the “women” (those from the bride’s side) and them, the “men” (from the groom’s side), were seated in two huge tents facing each other with a distance of about twenty or so metres separating us. On our extreme right or their extreme left, there was a small and empty tent. In earnest, this was a typical Rwandese “gusaba” (wife seeking) function. It is more of a cultural norm than anything else. What make the Kinyarwanda gusaba ritual very enjoyable and interesting are the facts that, it is conducted in a court like manner, with two antagonising looking sides headed by two councils of elders one on each side and these having head doing the discussions, these punctuated by the graceful dance troupes. Apart from the usual comical talks accusations here, denials there, substantiations here, the function was really eventful. If I were to verbose the whole function, most probably, I would need the whole newspaper! At one point in time, one elder on our side rose up with a point of information, “is it in order for use to grant their wish when one of their sons, XYZ chased me and my cows from one of their watering points?” Their spoke’s man was too sharp for us, he jumped up and began to answer, “Mzee, that young man had a reason why he turned you and your cows away from the watering point, there was a deadly Hippopotamus in the water, it could have harmed you and your cows ; in fact he was protecting you and you presence here today, is testimony enough!” That was answered with a loud roar of laughter and approval. As I said, this was just a traditional ritual, the bride had already been granted to them, in fact, in as far as the law was concerned, and she was already legally married to at the Umurenge! Because we were running late, there was a wedding function and the other function in the queue; we rushed through the whole process. The bride price of 6 exotic cows was named, they accepted it and the cows were brought and the deal was sealed. After the negotiations and all that goes with it, it was time for lunch. We were treated to a buffet of “umunyige” (mashed banana or plantains), boiled delicious cassava tubers, rice, spaghetti, beef, beans, greens etcetera. Milk, water, and Sodas were in plenty, of course not forgetting milk and ikigaji. We again refilled our tummies for the once again for the third time! By the time we were through with the Gusaba function, we were more or less like sleeping walkers. The over eating, mixed with ibigaji and the June sunshine, only God knew our condition! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm