Of course not!: Is a midlife crisis a normal transition through life?

First of all, let me hope that none of you beloved readers is going through a midlife crisis. If you are, that’s too bad. Don’t settle comfortably with the belief that it’s a normal phase which affects everybody. Actually, you may be surprised to find that you’re the only one in Rwanda. Look for psychiatric help as soon as you can. ‘Why am I saying this? The mere truth is that a midlife crisis only attacks people who show vulnerability to it. And how does someone become susceptible? By exposing a great amount of self-doubt, by having no faith in the future, by looking back in the past and wishing they had made better choices. Otherwise, if you are grateful to whichever state you’re in and endeavor to become a better person in all aspects of your life, no matter how old you are, you won’t have to worry about getting attacked by this so-called ‘midlife crisis.’ Ever asked why they decided to call it a “crisis” in the first place? The dictionary describes “crisis” as any event that is, or expected to lead to, an unstable and dangerous situation affecting an individual, group, community or whole society. Now try to gather all sticks together and analyze this. A midlife stage is there for everybody to experience (as long as you don’t die young). But a midlife crisis on the other hand, is an abnormal psychological state some individuals may go through. This dramatic experience self-doubt comes when individuals sense that their youthfulness is passing and that they are actually growing old- this is not natural to everyone. Some international researches support my point. In America alone, it was indicated that less than 10% of the population goes through a midlife crisis, whereas another research indicated that almost nobody is affected in Japanese and Indian cultures. Regardless of this overwhelming evidence, people these days are in the habit of judging people by the fact that they are fun-loving, outgoing or cheerful. When they see somebody, let’s say in their 40’s listening to urban music, they are quick to assert that he or she is going through a midlife crisis. I’m curious; who says that there is an age limit on having fun? What do you suppose old people do? Listen to The Beatles, stay home and chat with their grandparents? That would make Bill Cosby (a popular American comedian) one of the worst case victims of midlife crisis. Let us get real for a moment and realize that people simply choose to do what they want to do. If a grey-haired woman decides to dye her hair back to black, it’s not because she is in a crisis, but rather because, just like everybody else, she wants to look better. To conclude, I’ll remind you that many people are happy to clock a certain age, say 40 or 50 years, considering the fact that the life expectancy of Africans isn’t something we are proud of, if you compare to other regions. mugishaivan@yahoo.com