Insight : When he tells you to quit your job

Martha was working as a Banker when she started dating Latif, a famous lawyer and businessman. Latif owned one of the biggest Law firms in the country, a number of Wholesale hardware shops and had shares in a famous Fuel company. When they got married, Latif pleaded with Martha to quit her juicy job promising to meet all her needs and wants. She was due for a promotion the following week but love emerged stronger than career and she quit. Being the loving, respectful and submissive wife she was, she found comfort in the fat that her husband was massively wealthy; she quit her job and stayed home to take care of the family. “Latif was one of those husbands every girl would dream to have. He bought me my dream car after our honeymoon in Chicago. We shared house chores. He surprised me with vacations and gifts. My life felt like one of those Hollywood love stories,” Martha recalls. However, six years down the road, Latif became a totally different man. He didn’t want her to mention anything about money. Whenever she did, hell broke loose. He stopped providing anything for the family and all he did was pay fees for the children which he did only after Martha threatened to drag him to the courts of law. Latif then got a younger second wife. He left Martha and the kids hopeless and helpless. She regretted why she quit her job and had to start from scratch again. Martha represents so many women who have encountered the same scenarios where their husbands ask them to quit their jobs. Many give in and a few bold ones refuse to give up their careers. Catherine Kaissa Kayesu, a cashier, says she prefers to work and share the bills with her husband—at least for a few things that are inexpensive. “Life is quite costly lately. You can’t afford to sit down and wait for your husband to provide everything. I find it shameful to ask my husband for money to go for a hair-do, buy sanitary towels or even my own clothes,” says Kayesu.She mentions that women shouldn’t be blinded by love to the point of quitting their jobs just because their husbands wish so. “A man will be more proud of you when you help to fend for the family than when you entirely depend on him,” she adds. Alphonse Ngoboka, an Architect married with two children says that it’s not wise for women to quit their jobs because life is unpredictable. A situation might arise that needs a woman to dig into her pockets. “God forbid that any of this happens but you could loose your husband, marriage or he could loose his job. If both of you aren’t working, your only option could lead to borrowing or begging,” says Ngoboka. “Communication will come in handy like always, when he asks you to quit your job against your will,” she adds.In such cases, it is better to discuss why he prefers you jobless. This would be a great time to tell him why you want to keep your job. Be foresighted and look at the future to contemplate whether you can afford to quit your job in the 21st century. m.kaitesi@yahoo.com