Why teen tantrums

Every person who has teenage children at home would be familiar with the, “teen tantrums”. The dictionary meaning of tantrum is an uncontrolled display of frustration or anger mostly by a young child Teenaged children whether boys or girls are known to show fits to temper either by shouting, answering back, throwing things or sulking for hours without talking or eating. Parents feel baffled, when they encounter such problems. The sweet lovable child of yesterday who was always smiling and cheerful suddenly changes into a difficult person, whom the parents fail to understand how to deal with. A very typical situation is created where the adolescents scream and rant, the adults scold them and the drama continues unabated, till one side quits the room refusing to talk. Then the parents start a blame game. Each parent accuses another of spoiling the child by pampering him or her. It is also interesting to know that there is wide variation among the teenagers regarding, “teen tantrums”. Some may argue for some time then start their other activities as before. Some teenagers continue to sulk and argue for hours or days together. When I scold my daughter for throwing a tantrum and ask her to improve her behavior, she is quick to reply, “You have not seen my friends. They behave worse than me in their homes. “ There can be some reason to start the tantrum for a teenager and there may be no reason at all. The reasons existing may be as trivial as not getting a favorite dish for dinner or not being allowed to watch a movie at study time. Some teenagers take off their frustrations and tensions at school by shouting and misbehaving at home with other family members. Due to food fads and consuming junk food some youngsters remain malnourished in spite of plenty being available. Due to this they feel weak and irritable at all times. Home remains the only place where they can leash out their irritation. In case of weak minded children, they throw tantrums at home under peer pressure. It is a way of,” showing off”, for them to their friends. Another significant but neglected issue is that at this age, youngsters have tremendous energy, provided by nature to prepare the body for adulthood. This energy is often underutilized, particularly in affluent families. Parents often give abundant free time to children after school and rarely get any household chore done by them in the belief that they have to study much, hence should not be disturbed. But the reality is different. When their energy finds no creative outlet, it is leased out in form of tantrums. Rarely some, teenagers throw tantrums at home under influence of drugs or alcohol. This is the most unfortunate situation for both the family as well as the children. I think that the tantrums thrown by adolescents at home are part of their growing in to adulthood. One at this age wants to assert his own authority and defy the rules laid down by parents. They see the world through eyes of their peer group. Often it is a fantasy world for them full of big dreams and ambitions. Here they do not like to be criticized for their views or behavior. If the tantrums are few and not of grave nature it is best to ignore them! If the youngster can harm himself or somebody in the family in some way, while he is angry, he should be reprimanded gently. A, “tough love”, action is what is demanded. The child should be made to understand that though everybody loves him, no nonsense will be tolerated. While doing all this, one should try to remain a friend to a growing child and never speak harsh words. At this age, if an adolescent does not feel close to his parents, he may tend to find friends outside for help and guidance. These may not necessarily be the best friends. Rather they can misguide the child leading him to ruin his life and career. So it can be said that teen tantrums are nothing to be worried if not severe or harmful. As the adolescent grows up he shall outgrow this habit also. Meanwhile enjoy seeing your child grow. Ends