Reflections on sunday : English, our tormentor

I was tickled when I saw the new cabinet in Uganda. So was another Rwandan who remarked that here it would mean that cabinet meetings are held in a stadium! That, of course, was a bit of an exaggeration. Seriously, though, a cabinet of 76 is no small cake. It is the size of our parliament! But I wouldn’t dare make a joke about that cabinet, knowing the rebuttal that’d invite. I remember the quick retort that came from one prominent Ugandan who was campaigning for the recent elections. Asked if he’d make streets in Kampala as clean as those in Kigali, he quipped, without batting an eyelid: “Yes, you’ll have clean streets and clean pockets like in Rwanda!” It is normal to poke fun at a neighbour, of course, and we laughed with great mirth when the jab reached us. Even then, it was a reminder to us to work hard to create wealth. And that wealth should not be limited to a small privileged clique. It must be spread to the masses and remove them from ‘nyakatsi’ and jiggers. Anyway, in that new cabinet I was happy to see the name of a friend who was one time a neighbour in Nairobi. Nasser Ntege Sebaggala, congratulations! Sebaggala was a busy man and we rarely met. Still, I can’t forget the first time we met. He asked me what I was doing in Kenya and when I told him I was teaching, he wanted to know what I was teaching. I told him I was teaching French to beginners. That little French must have awed him because he asked: “So, you are a langist!” I said “Yes” but, of course, without knowing what he meant. He could have meant that I was from the Langi tribe of northern Uganda, known to have intelligent people. Alternatively, he could have meant a ‘linguist’ but was a smattering knowledge of French enough to qualify me as a linguist? I only learnt that he meant the latter when I read his addresses to the electorate in newspapers, when he was campaigning to become mayor of Kampala. Even today, you may have seen one of his speeches, which is making the rounds of e-mails. Idi Amin Dada had never spoken English better! Sebaggala, minister without portfolio, should also take on the job of entertaining Ugandans with his English language. However, thinking about the English language and its pronunciations, I wonder if anybody can dare laugh at anybody. Last evening I was listening to a news reader on one of our local FM radios but could not make out whether the news was in French or English. How many, in any case, are right now wondering if that should not be “the news were in French”? In a predominantly Francophone country, imagine how many posters we always encounter advertising ‘hair saloons’, when even the computer can correct it. But even this computer, can it tell the difference between ‘defence’ and ‘defense’? For, however frequently I programme it to use British spelling, it immediately reverts back to American. Now that English is an official language in Rwanda, we must decide on the exact English we should adopt. Do we use the English ‘programme’ or the American ‘program’? The English ‘centre’ or the American ‘center’? It is even more embarrassing when you find the same word spelt or pronounced differently by the same person. More importantly, however, we must make an effort in not transliterating English into our own language. For instance, Rwandans will tell you they are sleeping. They won’t know you can’t talk while asleep unless you are talking in your sleep. They mean they are lying down, but ‘lie’ itself is so confused that soon it will lose meaning. I think the word as a verb has three meanings, but can it be sure of how it is said depending on its meaning? The first meaning is to tell a falsehood, as in Rusesabagina lies that he saved people. The second is to be in a horizontal position, as in Kayumba was lying in hospital after sustaining a gun wound. The third is to be in a place, as in Karegeya thinks he is lying in ambush or the FDLR operations area lies in a vast valley. Yet again, you can lie yourself out of a difficulty, which then means managing to do something. But come to past tense and that single word splits up depending on the meaning you choose. If you can say you lied to your boss, you cannot say you ‘lied’ in a bed. You ‘lay in a bed’ but that violates the ‘sovereignty’ of another verb: to ‘lay’, to place something somewhere. And the moment you think of the past, ‘lay’ will also flee to past tense where it becomes ‘laid’. So, you lie to your boss (not lie your boss), you lay your bags on the bed after which you lie in it. Yesterday you lied to him; you laid your bags down and then lay in the bed. English! It will always be our tormentor! (The stupid computer is advising me to correct ‘will’ to ‘wills’!) E-mail: ingina2@yahoo.co.ukBlog: https://iyigihanga.wordpress.com