Workaholics are better off single

Alice had dreamed of her wedding day her whole life. She dreamed of the sparkling white gown and flowers in her hair. She even dreamed of her father giving her away in the same she church he married her mother in. She dreamed of a life so delightful that to her, fairytales seemed to be missing something. But 27 years and 3 kids later, Alice realized that growing up wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, James was a good father and somewhat good husband but his work always got in the way of what would be her marital bliss. We all know that work puts food on the table, clothes on our backs and most importantly roofs over our heads. It’s just that when this work seems to be taking up all the time a lonely spouse feels would be their quality time, it becomes a problem. The only thing worse than marrying a workaholic is marrying a workaholic who doesn’t seem to understand the dent their over hard work is causing. So they will tell you that they are only doing their job and that it is in the family’s’ best interest that he pleases the client because the paycheck will please the family too. But as they are so determined on focusing on pleasing clients and beating deadlines in record time, the spouse at home feels neglected and that is not what they signed up for when they fell in love. Business meetings across the globe become all too many, leaving the loner wondering if they’re even married at all! Do not wait up, I have a deadline to beat. Sorry, but I’m going to be in meetings all day so don’t call. You’re not going to like this but I have to leave tonight for a conference in Abuja and I’m the only one at the office who can go. These are just some of the lines you get from a person so addicted to their work that home doesn’t know them anymore. The only way a person can be happy and get along with their workaholic spouse very well is if they too are workaholics. Hotels become the order of the day and home cooked meals excite them greatly because they are too used to eating out. It’s no wonder that bored housewives with their husbands constantly away find other ways to entertain themselves. Please don’t ask me to explain that to you. I don’t know about house husbands though and what they get up to when the cat is away. My guess is as good as yours! But I get the idea it’s every bit as naughty as the housewives…naughtier even! There is absolutely no way anyone whose life revolves around the office can make their spouse happy. Sending flowers to the house is a great gesture but then having to cancel for the 10th time the romantic dinner you have been talking about for ages will surely get you sleeping on the couch! Is your job more important than me? You said we’d do this the last time. I feel like I don’t know you anymore. All this and plenty more will be unleashed leaving you clueless on what to do. The intimacy at night is no good either because you are always too tired to do anything! Now that’s where the real issues come in. At the end of the day, your partner is grateful that you are looking out for the family financially. But they also can’t help but long for your active participation emotionally, physically and spiritually. rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk