Rachel’ s ramblings: If he’s a keeper, then keep him

Good things don’t come every day. Yes, I’m talking about good guys. Women all over the world know just how hard it is to find a good man. But who said they don’t exist? And most importantly, if they do, where can they be found? Let me explain something to you my sisters. Good men are as hard to find as a needle in a haystack. So when luck comes your way and you’ve scored yourself one of these rare breeds, hold on to him with every ounce of energy you’ve got. I’m talking about the one who compliments you every chance he gets and is always interested in what you do and how your day was. Sometimes when you get back from work, you find out he left work early just so he could make you a romantic dinner in order for you to have some rest. On most occasions, he’s more than willing to babysit the kids so you can go for that manicure or massage at the beauty parlor. And he really doesn’t mind that the one hour you said you’d take turned out to be three or that you came back home with a bunch of girlfriends who do nothing but gossip. During your lunch breaks he fills your office desk with your favorite flowers and finds it necessary to call you every day just to say he loves you and that he’s thinking about you. He would rather miss out on his soccer match than see you miserable because Desperate Housewives comes on around the same time. Yes, they might be hard to find but they are there and it shouldn’t matter that he doesn’t look like Denzel Washington. If you have him already, for the love of God, get down on your knees every night and thank the big guy upstairs for your jackpot! Do not instead nag him about silly little things like why he wasn’t picking his phone earlier yet he had already told you he would be in a meeting. I guess some times women have these men but find it too good to be true so they instead go looking out for the flaws that she’s certain she’ll find. When she comes to his office and finds that his new secretary makes Jessica Alba look like a tired sack, it becomes a whole other issue! Now even though he wasn’t the one that hired her, really he wasn’t, a true nag will insist that he did. His attempts to reassure her that she is the love of his life and that no woman can hold a candle to her fall on deaf ears. After all, he is a man right? She gets to the point where spying doesn’t quite explain what she’s doing. She has been through his phone but all she finds are messages from business partners talking about exactly that, business! Yet still she thinks her man is up to something. Messages can always be erased, she tells herself. The man hasn’t so much as even breathed in another woman’s direction but convincing her of that is going to take a century because that secretary is really too pretty for words. Even his public display of affection(PDA) says ‘I love this woman and I’m not afraid to show it’ but still that doesn’t quite say it which leaves one wondering whether it’s a full body tattoo of her picture on him that will satisfy her. It’s a bit puzzling why she would suspect him of anything to begin with. I mean all the man does is show her that she can trust him and that she is safe with him but it is still not good enough. A brother just can’t catch a break can he? As women, we have been told over and over again that men are men and that they will disappoint us no matter what we do. But we need to cut them some slack because in all honesty it’s not fair. So what if you’re ex boyfriend dumped you because you added on a couple of pounds and ran off with the slimmest thing he could find? You picked up what was left of your life and moved on to a guy who found your ‘curves’ the greatest thing since Mac Donald’s. Don’t now bug the guy with retarded questions of whether he thinks your fat or if he still finds you attractive after three kids. If he is still with you, then you can only assume that that is exactly where he wants to be. Men don’t stick around when they clearly can’t stand the situation anymore. Whether married or just dating, love him the same way he loves you. Appreciate that good man and try not to give him a reason to want out! rachelgaruka@yahoo.co.uk