I hate people who…

…drive slowly without caring about other people’s jobs. Have you ever been in a taxi heading to work but the driver is taking his time on the road? Oh how I hate these guys who drive as though the passengers were tourists in Akagera National Park. They do not care that some of us are heading to our offices and need to get there in time. They do not give a damn because they are already in their offices - the taxi. Some of these jokers even have the arrogance to tell you to take a motorcycle in case you are in a hurry. Can’t our parliament draft a law that punishes taxi drivers who turn their passengers into tourists by intentionally driving slowly? …do not wait for customers to leave before they start cleaning. This level of stupidity has been noted in some Kigali restaurants. You are still busy eating your food and this brainless chap starts lifting chairs and tables piling them next to you. Before you know it, he is sweeping and pouring soapy water all over the place. Do these fools know that a customer is king? I paid to have a meal not to witness you mopping the floor. Can’t you wait for me to leave before you start? Cleaning while customers are eating is simply disrespectful. More so if it is The Hater eating. The next time someone does this, I will pour the rest of the food on the floor where he has just finished cleaning. …put passengers’ lives in danger due to their impatience. Just like the restaurant jokers, I have absolute hatred for those taxi drivers who never wait for their passengers to sit before they drive off. The moment you put the last foot inside the taxi, the driver speeds off leaving you to fall in the taxi. You can only be lucky if you fall well into a seat. Why treat passengers like this? I know the conductors are used to this kind of treatment but the same standards should not be used for passengers. How do you expect me to pay if you are not interested in waiting for me to sit comfortably before the car starts moving? Hey this is not Nairobi. …cannot speak to you without touching you. Just when I think I have hated almost everybody, others come up to disprove me. I am really disgusted by people who insist on touching you as they talk to you. I can hear you loud and clear. You do not have to add the extra burden of your arm on my shoulder. I understand when it is done once to show brotherliness but if you think your hand is going to be on my shoulder for a 30 minute conversation then that is not going to be tolerated. How come on the phone you still speak to me without touching? Please, keep your hands to yourself. …see me and ask me what I hate. I know I am a fulltime hater but I use this paper to express my hatred. I therefore hate all of you who meet me and ask me what I hate. If I told you then you would probably not buy this newspaper and it will not have the money to pay me. Why can’t you wait for Sunday to buy yourself a copy and find out what I hate? In fact most of the times you ask me this question, you interrupt my hating. However if you are still interested in knowing what I hate without buying this newspaper or reading online then all you have to do is stand in front of a clear mirror. The person you see there is the one I hate. Yes, I hate you. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293