Dating outside your means

This style of dating simply won’t work. Pretending that you are financially more stable than you actually are is a mistake. Men do this for several reasons; the most obvious is to impress a woman. But, this is for short term runs; it is just not sustainable over the long run. So, you meet this woman and you like her genuinely. Everything about her speaks, ‘financially fit’ or at least she’s from a rich family. That clearly means that while she might not necessarily be materialistic, she is used to a certain kind of lifestyle, probably a lifestyle that you cannot afford. So, if you are to have any plans of dating her, you have to be ready to provide for her minimum expectations, which might be out of your league. However, a sensible man will surely try, and if he realizes he can’t handle, he will move on. After all, everyone has his level in life. But then, there is that kind of man who will do anything to get the girl. Anything at all, including pretending to be someone he isn’t. He will spend a week’s housekeeping money to pay a lunch bill. Then for the rest of the month, he truly suffers. He will spend money that he doesn’t have to impress his catch. In the end, what happens is that the man gets stressed up because instead of the relationship being the joy it is supposed to be, he is always worried about his finances and where to borrow more money to keep up appearances, to impress his girl. Such relationships are bound to fail, since there is no honesty. Having clarity about your finances from the very first word will save you a lot of headaches. For starters, it will weed out the unserious types, those who might have been interested in money—which you don’t have. Then, the girl will appreciate your honesty and if she sticks around, she will know exactly what to expect from you. On the other hand, if the girl finds out you are a pretentious bigot, she will be disappointed. It’s true that every woman loves a man with means, but no woman likes a pretentious man. Such a man is less likely to get hooked up and on top of wasting his money, he has succeeded is accumulating debts. This is not my idea of a happy man! shemmugisha@gmail.com