What your peers won’t tell you about ‘Losing it’

Losing your virginity is a big decision. Not only must you be certain that you are emotionally ready to be with someone in this way but you must also be certain that you understand the risks associated with having sex such as contracting a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) and/or getting pregnant. Are you still a virgin? The very question makes you cower! In many places a teenager who is a virgin is likely to be viewed as weird. No wonder so many young people are sleeping around before they are out of their teen years. As much as you want to be cool and part of the crowd, remember that your peers often mask the horrible realities of premarital sex. If you have not had sex, you’re classed as someone who is odd but there’s a side to premarital sex that your peers may not talk about. For example, 19-year-old Judith was under pressure to sleep with her boyfriend. She says, “I felt embarrassed and ashamed; I hated myself and my boyfriend. I felt dirty and worthless.” Being a victim of merciless teasing and harassment because of virginity is no fun at all; but the dangers of giving in are more awful. In reality, premarital sex is often an emotionally painful experience with devastating consequences. If you aren’t sure whether you are ready, then you’re probably not. Don’t feel pressured by your friends. Just because other teens say they’ve had sex doesn’t mean you have to. And anyway, are you sure they’re telling the truth? Never do anything that both you and your partner aren’t totally comfortable with. The truth is virginity is not strange or abnormal, infact, it is normal. So don’t let people con you into thinking that something is wrong with you if you insist on holding on to your virginity as a teen. By retaining your virginity, you protect your health, your emotional wellbeing and most important of all your relationship with God and your parents. Avoid associating with friends, who lack strong moral standards, if you are dating, the wise course is to set clear boundaries. Discuss with your boy/girlfriend what expressions of affection are appropriate. If your partner loves you enough to want to have sex with you, he or she should also respect you enough to wait until you are ready. Remember there’s no shame in waiting until you are ready to lose your virginity. martin.bishop18@yahoo.com