Dealing with a new Stepmother or Stepfather

You may be already familiar with a stepmother or stepfather, but for those who are entering that situation there is hope in having a great family life with everyone in the family. You have to start thinking of the stepparent in a different way. These people are not there to replace your either of your parents. The first thing someone yells at a stepparent is you are not my mother or you are not my father. Believe it or not, they know this. Think of them as your friends and someone who your Mom and Dad love. They are there to make your parents happy and if they can make you happy along the way then it is a success. Think about this, when your Mom or Dad was dating this person, did you have any problems with them at all? If not then them marrying one of your parents should not be that big of a deal. In younger children there is more of resentment, they see the new husband or wife as a threat to their family but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you are a high school student or perhaps a college student then you should know all of this. If you are a bit younger, think of it this way. Do you really think that this stepparent would marry your Mom or Dad just to make you unhappy? Do you really think they would marry into your family knowing that you are going to hate them, thereby causing tension in the home. The answer is no. There are stepparents who don’t have kids of their own. They may make a lot of mistakes at first but wouldn’t it be easier to make things as easy as possible on yourself. Consider the feelings of your Mom or Dad; by fighting with a stepparent it may be causing stress on them. Don’t think it is all your doing because as the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Your new stepparent may be getting used to the idea of being around children themselves especially teenagers. A note to parents, try having a sit down dinner or meeting with the family before you get married and discuss the things that your new husband or wife can expect in your household and find out what your kids expect from their new stepparent. This way, your new husband or wife doesn’t think that just because they married the Mom or the Dad that they can step into the role. These kids most often already have the other parent. Don’t interfere in these relationships. As a new stepmom or stepdad, try being their friend. Get to really know them without prying too much into their lives. It is going to take some time for everyone to get used to it. Don’t rush, you have time. If everyone knows the role they have to play and don’t cross the line, there is no reason why everyone can’t get along. Student.com