Motoring corner: “Rating The Worst Drivers”

The basic prerequisite for any driver or aspiring driver is the element of safety. Safe driving is not a single driver’s effort but a concerted effort of all drivers and other road users put together; it means, being able to spot and avoid problematic road users before they become a real problem. We may need to prologue this list a little. Truly, we should wholly comprehend that this list is a simplification. But it is entirely accurate simplification, and one that holds a lot of water. What does it entail? You might be one of the drivers on this list but do you or dont fit the description? Most probably, you do. This list can be broken down into vehicle type. The reason is simple, each car out there attracts a specific type of person, and all persons owning a specific car (say, a Nissan Patrol) fall into a driver type. This is a fact. Now, you may argue that this is impossible, since there exists a huge disparity between all of the Patrol drivers by location, age, sex, race, etc. True, but the personality is the same. Thus a 40 year old Rwandese woman from say Kigali may fall into the same rough parameters of driving style as a 22 year old Kenyan male in Nairobi. You may be wondering, what about the driver who changes cars? The one who drives a Ford Taurus and who now drives a Subaru Forester? Surely they are the same drivers, no? The driver has changed his fundamental driving type, and like the snake shedding its skin to grow a better fitting one, the driver has to shed his old car for one better matching his new, evolved diving personality. Also, the car itself will often dictate the driving style. All things being equal, a person who used to drive a Hyundai will drive differently if they now own a Porsche. Take it or leave it, you have to accept that these findings are accurate, and that if you drive one of the cars below, I am painting a very accurate picture of you and your driving. You may doubt the methodology used herein, how was this arrived at? Well, experts with over two decades of driving the streets, alleys, off-road trails, freeways and dirt roads have made become experts and that is what we are. No other people drive as much as we do, and we learn things that others cant. This, plus an amazing ability to conveniently classify people into neat little categories makes this list accurate. The list breaks down driving style by the following categories: 1/ Aggressiveness, (Agg) which measures how likely the car/driver will be to cut you off, challenge you for position on the freeway, run a red, etc. 2/ Attention, (Att) which measures whether the driver actually knows where they are on the road, where they are going, and how likely they will be more interested in adjusting the stereo or talking on their phone than realizing that their lane ends. 3/ Courtesy, (Crt) which measures the likelihood of your getting the Im sorry wave from the driver after a particularly bad screw up, the thank you nod when you let them in, or if they will allow you in front of them when you desperately need to change lanes. 4/ A-hole quotient, (AQ). This simply measures the degree of how big an A-hole the driver is overall, and transcends the driving. This covers whether the driver sneers at you, or if they give you the finger even after you give them the thank you wave. It is a broad category, and is the most subjective of them all. Each category is rated on a ten point scale, with 10 being the worst (i.e. the most aggressive, lowest attention, least courteous and biggest A-hole). Okay, now you have the background. (To be cont’d)motoringcorner@live.co.uk

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Motoring corner: “Rating The Worst Drivers”