Rachel’s Ramblings: Are friends with benefits a good idea?

The topic of friends with benefits is currently hotter than a scalding cup of coffee being drunk by Ryan Reynolds! Movies such as ‘Love and Other Drugs’ have got us all wondering if we can truly have a great time with someone without actually dating them. In theory, having someone in your life for just sex sounds like a pretty good idea, but the truth is that the ‘no-strings attached sex’ can be even more complicated than getting into a proper relationship. For instance, women naturally have the ‘cuddle syndrome’ regardless of how independent they are!You might be looking forward to whipping your duvet off him and chucking him out faster than he can say ‘snow queen’. But selfishly, your body is likely to betray you, leaving even the most aloof of ladies wanting a nice cuddle and maybe some nose kisses as well. Secondly – newsflash! – Boys have feelings too. Even if you do manage to convince your body your relationship is run on a purely booty-call basis, he might get more attached than you intended. He might not necessarily turn into some kind of stalker although you can’t risk that either. Yet strolling out of a room minutes after you’ve done your thing and he’s standing there looking all dewy-eyed and rejected will leave you feeling guilty as sin. Whether you have just met or been friends for a while, you will not be feeling your best when you leave that room. Why not save yourself the trouble and get yourself a partner on a long term basis? If it doesn’t work out then move on to the next relationship and try to avoid the mistakes you made in the previous one. I think it’s much better than going through all those miserable one night stands and never truly feeling anything. The only thing will be guilt weighing on your conscience. For example, you are positive you don’t love him but you can’t help but feel sorry that he always misses you and can’t wait to see you again! Some people think they can handle it but in truth, nobody knows what they are actually capable of. The greatest Casanova of all time might think falling in love is impossible and utterly ridiculous but will be hit so hard when it actually happens to him. The movie, ‘Love and Other Drugs’ focuses on this Casanova type of guy who had literally never used the words ‘I love you’ his entire life. He meets this girl who to his delight is very much like him in terms of the whole no strings attached thing. But as fate has it, the guy ends up falling in love with her. Well, the girl had Parkinson’s disease and probably didn’t think anyone would want to date her in such a condition. But what’s the boy’s excuse? It’s a bit funny when he wants to tell her he loves her but looks like he is going to pass out. Don’t compromise yourself or your friendship with what could be the worst mistake of your life. Can you imagine what it would be like if a friend of yours ended up obsessed with you? It’s kinda’ creepy, don’t you think? I mean its one thing having a stranger obsessed with you but a friend is something else. He probably knows everything about you all the way to how you think, so don’t sell yourself short. While it’s difficult to stay aloof with someone you are having regular sex with, it’s also impossible to have casual sex with someone you already care about. Sex at its very best is when it’s with someone you really care for and when you are in a relationship with them. Why not wait for that person to come along because the alternative is just too damn complicated. cjanzi83@yahoo.co.uk