Comforting a hurting spouse

Well, well, well, this might not be an interesting topic but its real and during this ‘cyunamo’, I think a spade should be called a spade and not a small spoon. When I woke up early this morning, I thought about how to handle a spouse who is a Genocide survivor. This particular genocide commemoration period brings up the terrible and indescribable memories of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi. These must be the darkest of days in any spouse’s life, so be kind enough to understand them when their mood changes to the worst; remember they are human. When they feel the loss of their loved one’s that they watched being slaughtered by those mean, black hearted people-I can hardly find a word to describe those evil people. Your spouse was at the scene when all her/his family was slaughtered but somehow survived so at this time the scars left on their hearts begin to hurt. Therefore, try to comfort them, give them love and care like never before. Make them feel safe around you since you are probably the only family they have. With this atmospheric feel of sadness and agony, it is inevitable for one to remember and even get emotional but with someone by your side to offer a shoulder to cry on, be near and dear, and before you realize, the sad 100 days of Genocide commemoration will be over. Create more time for your spouse since you know that this is the time they need the most moral support. You definitely would not be man enough if you let your better half go for those commemoration services alone. In any relationship where one or both partners are survivors, the mutual support is the key to strength and happiness. jacqueuwera@yahoo.com