Dealing with painful memories

Life can bring about so many distasteful and unbearable experiences that cause pain leaving us with intrusive and disturbing memories. One such example is facing the memories of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi that has caused physical, emotional and psychological pain. It could be the loss of loved ones, abuse from a friend or close relative, disappointment, personal illness or serious depression. The fact is that pain is inevitable and at some point in life, you are going to go through it. The question here should be how you are going to cope and go through it. Natalia Nyirabera, 56 years is a housewife who resides in Gasyata. She said she always turns to God in times of pain. “I always talk to God about how I feel, encourage myself in the Lord, read my Bible and pray. I have found this very helpful and it always makes me feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off my heart,” says Nyirabera. Everyone has had their fair share of painful memories as long as you still live in this world. However, dealing with pain is a gradual process and takes patience. Sometimes, it might not be something you can do away with right away. “When I am going through a painful situation, I usually resort to boozing,” says 24-year-old Victor Rurangwa, an I.T personnel and resident of Kanombe. “I will go drink myself silly to forget about the pain but when the booze wears off, the pain comes back, so drinking has not actually been very helpful,” says Rurangwa. According to Rurangwa’s experience, the use of alcohol as a remedy for pain is not exactly helpful because the pain is not dealt with. Sometimes, playing mind games is one way to deal with pain. Challenging our brains by solving crossword puzzles, playing cards, scrabble, searching the internet, reading a book and playing Chess will divert your focus from the pain. Additionally, engaging in fun activities will alleviate painful situations, so why not explore your hobbies; you could even earn a living from it. You could go dancing, swimming, watch a football match with the boys, if you are a lady, you could go out with the girls and spend time at the spa and talk the pain away. Such activities have helped people get rid of the emotional pain they suffer. “I love music like crazy and since I am a musician, when I am going through pain my music comes in handy. I just have to play my favorite songs. Music does help to seize the pain and helps you to look at the lighter side of life,” says Diana Teta, 21 years, an upcoming artiste and student. The startling thing about pain is that it gives people the opportunity to grow stronger. It also gives us the strength of character and will-power to be better human beings when we choose to learn from it and become positive minded. We should seek solace in the fact that no situation is permanent. We should keep our hope alive knowing that joy comes in the morning so that pain will only last for a while and eventually wither away. m.kaitesi@yahoo.com