Aunt’s corner

Dear Aunt Silvia,I am a young lady in my mid twenties. I met a man about six months ago and he told me that he was a widow. He told me that his wife died of AIDS related illnesses and left him with three young children under his care. When I asked him about his status he told me that he tested HIV-negative. Is it possible that between partners one can be found to be free of the virus while the other to be positive even when they were still sexually active at the time of a spouse’s death? Please help me understand this situation before I commit myself to this relationship, because I have fallen in love with him and if all goes well, then am ready to be his wife.Maggie. Dear Maggie,Yes it is very possible and it has been found in some couples to be discordant which means that one partner is found to be healthy and free of HIV virus while the other to be positive of HIV, though these cases are very rare. Sometimes it is in the blood that some people have very strong immunity, while others it can be a case of distance and the partner left at home strays at some point and unfortunately contracts the disease from someone else beside their spouse, and fortunately by the time their spouses come back home they find a very sick partner and decide not to engage in sex until some tests have been done, thus being saved from the disease. With the high technology now you do not need this man to tell you any more stories. A few minutes and three tests later is the only surest way to find out for your self whether your future husband is sick or not, hoping that all this time you have been together you have not engaged yourself in unprotected sex with him. You must also put into consideration the fact that once you commit yourself to this man and become his wife, his children will become yours and you must fulfill the obligation of being a mother from day one you enter into that union. It is usually not easy to enter into a union with someone who has three young children; when you have none of your own -it can be quite a challenge. But if you are determined to do it, then do it wholeheartedly. Love those children as if they come from your womb; never even once think of harming them in any way. It is out of these small acts of charities that our lives are prolonged. All the best. kayitesius@yahoo.com