“When Mzee Gafa was conned”

There are some cons that are for real and others that may be innocent or may I call it desirable! According to the English Language, a “con man” is termed as “A con artist, or a person who uses a fraud method known as a confidence trick”, how true that is, is just a matter of individual perception. I have learnt that, sometimes, we need to get conned here and there; after all, those constitute an eye opener to many of us. I am not trying to so impute in any way that, conning is good, neither do I condemn it altogether! There is this friend of mine from Umutara’s Karangazi town, don’t read my lips because I have nothing against Karangazi or its good residents. I too have an uncle in the villages adjoining that wonderland! This is none other than the famous “Gafa” (read Gafaranga), as the adage goes, if your father hates you he gives you a bad name, on the contrary, if he loves you, he gives you a good one! One day, a boy is born and the next moment, his papa names him “Gafaranga” (MONEY)! True to the old man’s wish, his son is now bustling in the splendour of money! This is indeed a story of “wishes being horses” (like the English saying of wishes being horses and beggars being able to ride). As the parents get older and older, they beg suffering from one ache or the other. As a result, these guys tend to be psychologically sick as well (not mad though)! Time and again, they begin frequenting the city for treatment on this and that! This time around, Gafa was called courtesy of MTN, to go and transport his ailing dad to Kigali for treatment from the usual pains here and there (nothing in particular)! The old man had heard of one of his neighbours who went to Kigali as good as “too dead to speak” (if I may borrow a few words from Kampala’s former Mayor, Seeya) and came back to the village as clean as a whistle! Who wouldn’t want to be forever young? This reminds me of my Chain-keeper, she keeps applying this or that cream or lotion or ointment to her skin in a bid to defy the effects of her true age (please don’t tell her, lest I face those dreadful sanctions of hers). Mzee Gafa (Gafa’s papa) happened to visit my uncle and the good old man told him of the peace he was now enjoying as a result of having been taken to Kigali and having been “passed” (gucya mu cyuma)through a machine! Why not? He too wanted nothing less than “passing through the machine”! He kept nagging his son so much that, Gafa decided to respect the old man’s wish. On the fateful day, he drove off to Karangazi in his state of the art Mercedes Benz 4Matic and made sure that, brought the Mzee as early as possible. On arrival at Kigali, he drove straight to Telcom House, parked and got the Mzee out of the vehicle, they both walked into the building and at the lobby, the entered into the lift, before that, Gafa warned his father that, “the exercise of going through the machine is easy but if it can’t cure you, you will feel a lot of pain”, the Mzee eagerly consented and off they went, “up and up and up, then down and down, and out they went! Gafa asked the Mzee, “How do you feel now”? There was an unmistakable smile on the old man’s face and he replied, “Great”! mfashumwana@fastmail.fm