The signs that you are not his real girlfriend

You and your new catch could have been dating for months now. In your mind you’re his girlfriend and future wife. The moments of passion, love and fun have characterized this relationship. But there could be signs that you’re not both seeing the relationship in the same way. Below are the pointers the ladies, social critics and housewives we interviewed said are not good signs if you thought the guy you are dating now is truly yours. You’ve never met his friends or family: If you’ve been dating for quite some time and you’ve never laid eyes on his friends or relatives, it’s time to start asking questions. Chances are you aren’t his girlfriend. But most likely he’s avoiding this introduction for a reason, and you need to know why. I had always begged him to introduce me to his family in vain until a close friend in the neighbourhood told me that he had introduced another girl,” says Rica, now searching. You’re not his date to major events: He gives you lame excuses when it comes to such events. And so he will ensure that you don’t attend together company events, friend’s wedding or birthday, family reunion and the like. If this is happening to you, then be afraid. Anita, a nurse by profession, tells her story she says she will never forget: “I was shocked to find someone I knew was my boyfriend with a different girl at a party I had been invited to by my girlfriends. He had told me before that he was to go upcountry that day.” If you haven’t had the talk: People say that sometimes the loudest thing in the room is what isn’t said. Think about your time together. Have you talked about how you both of you see the relationship and what you expect in the future? Have you talked about being exclusive sexually? If the answer is no, and you’ve been dating for some months, then you’re probably not his girlfriend. He never calls on the weekend: If a man doesn’t see you as his girlfriend, it can be hard for him to prioritize you, says Aidah Asiimwe, a social critic. “He clearly likes being around you, but making time for quality interaction means that weekend calls are probably few and far between. He will tell you how the weekends are for his upcountry trips,” she says. You’ve never seen his place: Has he given you reasons why you can’t go to his place? “It’s hard to really know a person without seeing where they live, so if he’s giving you the stiff arm about a visit to his home chances are something’s amiss, dating experts say. You are introduced as “My Friend”: It is common and natural to share a person’s connection to you when you introduce them. “But if he introduces you as “a friend,” that’s exactly what you are. You’re not his girlfriend,” adds Asiimwe. Last minute changes: How does your guy handle last minute schedule changes? If he’s fond of changing appointments with you, then be on the alert. The excuses that he has got urgent issues to attend to might not be true, especially if he doesn’t give you another day for you people to meet. No Prime time date nights: Often a girlfriend will have a standing date on Friday or Saturday night, maybe both. If you find that your date nights tend to be Sunday through Thursday, and there’s no work schedule driving the choices, you may want to ask some questions” says Mama Boy, now a housewife whose husband, she says used to take her out on Saturdays while they were still dating. Future talk makes him fidget: It is rare to find men who love to sit and talk about their relationship. A man who sees you as a temporary fixture in his life will avoid the conversation about what the relationship holds for the future. “If he’s silent about this topic, then know he’s just using you now,” says Laura, whose former boyfriend never wanted such talk. You get the late night call: It can be sexy to get a late phone call, but it can also be an indication of bad things. If you find that your new man has a habit of calling you for a visit mostly when he’s on his way home from somewhere else, your girlfriend status is in doubt. Ends