I wish I loved you more

Have you ever been loved by the ones you didn’t love? Or have you ever loved someone who had no feelings for you Our relationship started out slow but we have become intact overtime. The only concern now is, how to treat her now that I don’t wish to take this love any deeper. The first time I met her was in a bus, rushing to work. I sat next to her as it was the only free seat left.As usual, I started the talk by asking her the time and her work place, made a couple of jokes and then her phone number. I reached my stop-point and left happily while she continued with the bus. I proposed dinner the day after and then a love affair during the late hours of the dinner. She did not hesitate to answer “yes” and we kissed right away. Oh God, she smelled good, and I liked her smile too. She was sweet and sounded intelligent. I had not seen this kind of lady in years, so I wished this love could last forever. But after all the love text messages and gifts we have exchanged, after all those window shopping calls, after all the dinners we have had together, I wonder why I don’t love her like she loves me. Yes, we do laugh, kiss and make love. Yes, I do love everything about her personality, but, to be honest with myself, I hate that I do not love her wholeheartedly.She even earns three or four times more than I do. Actually, she offers to clear every bill even when I insist on paying. I can’t even tot up how much she spent on me in the days when I had lost my job. Could we call it ungratefulness? Am I the player kind of guy? No thank you. Actually, I am the sincere type when it comes to loving. That’s why I have been in love with her for more than a year.Lately, I have been seeing another girl. She is much prettier and younger than my girlfriend. I feel attracted to her though she seems not interested in any part of me.I have proposed lunch several times, sent her friendly text messages and tried to win her attention, but she never responds. I am told she always has a number of gentlemen lining behind her back and the richest wins. I too am not scared of spending on her but I wish she even accepted my proposals. Meanwhile, my girlfriend has started viewing us in the marriage perspective. I always wanted to marry in about 15 years time, but she wishes we married even tomorrow. And though she seems ready to wait for as long as I wish, I am not sure of pretending for 15 more years to eventually marry her. I also don’t wish to break her heart after all she has done for me. Perhaps she is God-sent and losing her would make me regret someday. She deserves better love and I wish I was able to offer it. This love would last forever. Ends