Bird hunter declares ‘no camera zone’ in Li-bird-ya

After following recent events closely, I have concluded that the world will soon come to an end. Extra-ordinary things are happening just too fast for life itself. Innovation is accelerating things and I get a feeling that the Almighty has decided that he needs to see a change in breed in his human farm (read earth) and is planning to replace us with a more innovative, fast thinking breed of humans. Actually he has even started introducing some of the breeds - I mean, look at Mark Elliot Zuckerberg. Don’t you think that this ‘fool’ comes from a totally different generation of human breed? Events have started playing out in ways that no one could ever imagine, and most of them are directly or indirectly influenced by innovations of the super breeds who I suspect are doing whatever they are doing because they are on mission to wipe us off the earth so that they can ultimately take over and do the crazy things that only they will understand. Signs of ‘the end of times’ started showing when the one and only bird hunter of all time, the chief jogoo Ngbendo wa Zabanga was shown the exit from his own kraal. Many did not believe what they heard until the jogoo was confirmed dead in exile in Morocco. This was indeed an extra-ordinary event, and since then no bird hunter felt safe. But then we did not know the gravity of the threat until super humans started unleashing technological innovations that have seen more and more bird hunters fall from grace to grass. A combination of el -phenomenon called the camera and the internet saw one of the shrewdest bird hunters in the land of 1K hills fall with a thud recently. This VIP hunter was my hero all along, and his departure has left a big dent in the bird hunting ‘industry.’ However, knowing him, I am sure he said “I will surely be back” before he left, a la afande Schwarzenegger. It was sad indeed. Before this sunk in, the same arsenal has been unleashed on another hunter, one of the most famous of our time and the look of things is that this hunter too, might be on the way out. The king of Kings is (was) – by the time you read this, my friend could be past tense) such a ballistic bird hunter that even his body guards (pun intended, if you can see it) were birds selected from many, in almost the same style as is done by Tonto Mswati (at this rate, I should be forgiven to wonder if Mswati is next target – God forbid!). On top of the body guards, the King of Kings, the jogoo of the desert had an Ukrainian bird nurse who was always around him wherever he went to make sure his vital organs were functioning optimally (well, however you perceive this, you are right!). Now I am told things have changed to the extent that even the Ukrainian bird has deserted him. I hear that also, in bid to render defenceless, the contre success have declared a no flies zone over his hunting ground so that he fly metallic birds to defend himself. How sad!!!! Well, since my hunting is at the macro level, I am confident that nobody will come baying for my blood any time soon. However, since I have been forewarned, I am determined to maintain my security to preserve myself so that if I am to fall, I have to be the last – if not the last hunter standing. That is why I have declared a ‘no camera zone’ in my hunting grounds. I would have liked to also declare a ‘no phone zone’ but this would impede free hunting because as it is, you can’t do without a mobile phone these days. So, only cameras for now are ‘interdit.’ During hunting sessions I will first pass a caveat concerning the use of cameras. If it’s a house party, birthday party, or just a hunting party, I will have to make sure people are searched on entry and any camera will be confiscated. There will be written announcements telling people that phones are to be used only for calling and answering calls and this has to be done in the washrooms. People will be told that this is a measure only to allow people to enjoy the party to maximum. But in real sense, this will be a measure to protect myself from technological malice. Ends