The Hater: I hate people who...

…think it is cool to use the national anthem as a ring tone. For sure, this time I am so angry with these people that I am typing so hard you could easily think I am trying to spoil my laptop. How can someone think of using the national anthem as a ring tone in his cheap Chinese phone? Do they even know that this anthem is the country’s national symbol and that each time it its played people are supposed to stand up immediately and sing along? So what happens when the phone rings at the time when you are in the toilet? Please, have some respect for the anthem. Do not confuse your gross foolishness and disrespect to your country with patriotism. …enter public toilets and leave the door open. Just before you start laughing you should know that I myself, I am not in a laughing mood here; I just hate these uncultured fools who think that we should all witness their toilet activities. This sickening habit is common among men. Leaving the door open while you ease yourself is basically the same as urinating by the roadside. No one is really interested in witnessing your waste disposal programme. There is a reason why the toilet has a door and you should use it. Otherwise I will be compelled to evoke strong prayers for these people to fall in the toilet the moment they stubbornly refuse to shut the door behind them. …simply cannot practice what they preach. Please, join me and laugh before you even complete this paragraph. How can you fail to laugh at a joker like Mr. Olara Otunnu who was a presidential candidate in the recently concluded Ugandan elections but did not even go to vote for himself? Did this guy seriously think that people liked him more than he liked himself? Why did he waste time telling people to vote for him when he could not do the same for himself? As if that was not enough he even had the guts to say the elections were not free and fair. How did he know when he did not even vote? Don’t you just hate such jokers? …enter public taxis with smelly young children. This doesn’t mean that adults smell nice just because they can afford deodorants. However the fact that some mothers move around with kids smelling of ‘old’ urine in taxis is something I cannot fail to hate. The other day a lady entered the tax and you would think we had been transferred to a septic tank! She was carrying a child whose clothes were clearly not clean and she had not bothered to change them. So we all had to suffer with the stench that filled the car. I was actually forced to get out before reaching my real destination to get some fresh air. …think that watching TV makes then instant political analysts. Of course you have met these irritating fellows who are so willing to tell you ‘everything’ about the revolts in Egypt, Tunisia and even Libya. They know how much money Mubarak had and even where he is hiding. They will even tell you of how the riots are a sign that Arabs are brave but Africans are cowards. They instantly get angry when you try to remind them that Egyptians and Tunisians are Africans too. Interestingly these ‘experts’ cannot even locate the Egyptian embassy in Kigali. By the way these are the same fellows who talk about European football games as if they took place in Nyamirambo. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293