Society : It’s tricky complimenting Rwandan girls

Among hundreds of magnificently good things God bestowed on Rwanda are beautiful girls. In fact most foreigners not only know about our thousand hills and sweet tea but also our beautiful ladies. It’s no secret, girls just like guys love compliments. But Rwandan girls are not your average girls as concluded. On top of their beauty, they are endowed with intelligence, astuteness and pride. They often hear that they are pretty. This seems not to impress them much! Actually it makes girls wonder if anyone sees them for what they are, rather than how they look. A good way to compliment a Rwandan lady is praising her achievements, rather than flattering her on how she looks. A Rwandan girl can easily mistake a simple compliment as a flirtatious signal. Don’t just open your mouth and say the first thing you think. It may come out in the wrong way or she may misunderstand it. Notice her appearance (not her looks). When she’s wearing something cute or looks nice, say something low-key. “You look great today!” There are a lot of things that indicate a girl looks good that have nothing to do with her features, or her clothing. If a girl’s hair is normally wavy, but today it’s straight, and looks radiant, you might remark: “That look suits you”. Stop, look, and listen. Once you’ve remarked on the object, look at her face when she’s answering you. Don’t stare at the thing you complimented. You’ll look obsessed. Gauge her response. If she seems friendly, you may have just made a new friend. If, she says something curt, such as, “thanks.” and leaves it there, she’s probably not interested in talking. When you want to be more than friends with this special girl, try again. And this time make sure she knows you are trying. She might play along and try to encourage you to say nice things about her. If she does, then do it. Hand the compliments out one by one. Girls think it’s cute when a guy makes flattering remarks. And when you men out there think you are hunters, believe me girls like a good chase as well. Smile, and don’t be offended if she doesn’t compliment you. Some girls do not understand that you are genuinely nice and interested. My only advice would then be: forget about them. Some girls refuse to take a compliment, and will always shrug it off. For example, if you remark on her nice dress, and she replies:’ No, it’s ugly,’ or “I don’t believe it”, you are talking to an insecure woman. Don’t take it as an insult. If by any chance you accidentally offended her or insulted her make sure you apologize. Compliment her sometimes on something that she doesn’t think that you will notice. Just don’t go overboard with the compliments. It’s easy to compliment about something material, like a bracelet or a blouse. If it’s about the way she walks or talks, be careful! Keep your comment brief, especially if you don’t know her well. Be the first to compliment her, you would look clumsy and joiner when someone else beats at it. You would be chiming: in after them with, “yeah... I like it, too”. So fellow men, just know women are like roses. Beautiful, smelling fantastic but they also have thorns! martin.bishop18@yahoo.com